Access:

Is it ridiculous that an important factor in my choice of jobs is open access to Facebook?

Skunk:

I've fallen off the blogroll for a little while, mainly because I haven't been able to put together any complete thoughts. Since my last post I've probably started writing two or three times, but just scrapped whatever I had since they were fairly incoherent.

I feel a bit more rested after taking off a weeks worth of vacation from work. This past weekend was a blast mainly because it was nice to have good friends close by, but also because it was action packed after having time to rest up. For a while I have found myself just wishing time away, as if 6 PM Friday couldn't come sooner and the weekend would hold all the self-fulfillment I could ever need. Quite clearly, this kind of attitude is flawed and weak. After a quick vacay and a sweet weekend I think the attitude has mostly dissapated. There are some nice things about not having any expectations, but it also feels good to hope for a good thing to come along every once in a while.

Highlights:

Some morning highlights:

-From home to work it took me exactly, 1 hour and 1 minute which is an all time record for me.
-I yanked a gnarly nose hair which was much longer than I could imagine a nose hair to be.
-I think I may have found some form a solution to my pant leg continuously getting caught underneath the tongue of my shoe when I walk.
-There should be donuts at this meeting I'm about to go to.

Just waiting for the weekend to roll around.

Conservation:

Whenever I've tried to explain Planet Earth to people who haven't seen it, they look at me like I'm crazy. "How could a nature documentary possibly be that interesting or cool?" It just is! If you take the time to watch a few episodes, I guarantee you'll appreciate the world we live in more.

I think watching the DVDs should count as a green iniative for companies where we'd get paid to watch them while at work.

Adults:

Growing up can be such a foreign concept.

Yesterday Usher's new album "Here I Stand" came out. Through reading the inside cover and watching some interviews on 106 and Park last night, I feel like I was able to get some insight into what he is trying to express through his music. The album, to me, seems very mature in that he's thought out his emotions, his actions, his place in life and has come to terms with who he has become. When I first picked up the CD, the label said "Soul" instead of R&B, which is a classification I sort of agree with.

I don't consider myself experienced or fully developed or all-wise. I think that's why I don't accept that I'm an adult or grown up. I wonder when I will reach that point.

Withdrawl:

This morning I was thinking about missing Chapter Camp. I hold many fond memories of those four one-week visits to Champion, and it's interesting that the timing for such nostalgia is not too far off the actual calendar. I guess I have a pretty good internal clock.

A couple of months ago I was aching for a vacation pretty bad. Things were fine at work and I wasn't burnt out, but I just felt like I needed some time off. I then realized that this year was the first year in 17 where I had no spring break. Strange. On one hand, I would think that missing spring break is not a big deal since I never capitalized on that week off to do exciting things or see people. As a matter of fact I think I often had school work that I had to catch up on during that time. On the other hand, if you do something every year for 17 years in a row, it is bound to have some significance in your life.

I think the optimist would say that now there is the opportunity to rework my internal clock and start new traditions. The sloth in me resists such a suggestion. But I suppose I can't rewind, so the only alternative is to push forward.

Burgers:

Last night I had a dream where I and some other people were sitting down at a burger restaurant. At first I think the menu resembled Five Guys' with the single burger size ordering method. Then it seemed to be more like Cheeburger Cheeburger because we were sitting down and I saw guacamole as an available condiment. When the waitress came around to get my order, I discovered that it was neither of those restauarants and I had no idea how to order a burger. At that moment I woke up, leaving me somewhat frustrated but more so confused as to why I would have such a vivid dream about that. Maybe going to a burger place for lunch will bring about some resolution.

Chlorophyll:

Lately I've been finding that I have less energy than usual. My first suspicion was that I was simply doing too much. Going out for dinner or happy hour after work plus a myriad of parties and social events on the weekend can be pretty demanding on the body and psyche. This past week and weekend I did very little (comparitively) in hopes that I would be rejuvenated, yet I don't think I feel any less tired or drained.

My next target might be to try getting more sleep. I average a decent amount, but perhaps I need more. The only way to do so is to go to bed earlier, which is a big sacrifice considering how valuable time at home with the housies is. Already that after-work window is limited and becoming disciplined to cutting it down would be a tough task.

I do believe there are alternative activities that I have yet to try that might work. Supposedly running increases general energy levels, and I definitely could use the cardio. Spending time outside just sitting or working on the garden can be refreshing. Perhaps listening to music while lying on the couch would be good. I'm open to suggestions.

Titanic:

My coworkers are having a conversation regarding Celine Dion in the cube next to me. Sometimes life can be so strange if you stop to think about it.

Emperor:

There were a lot of dark jedi on the metro today, if you get my drift.

On my commute, it's pretty easy to tell apart those who know what they are doing and those who don't travel that way normally. For some reason I find small enjoyment in showing off amidst all the tourist. Like knowing the exact timing between stops. Or completing a hard sudoku while standing and not holding on to any rails or leaning on any walls. Just having a comfortableness that says "I'm pro at this, try to stay out of my way" ... it's strangely gratifying.

Remember:

Items of nostalgia at the moment:
- Kanye West and warm weather driving
- Chick fila rituals
- Tidal basin walks

I want to take a vacation. I think it's about time to start the planning phases.

Alterations:

1. Jacket size taken down to a 36 S (R will do if they don't have it).

2. Pant inseam taken in 1.5 inches, length unhemmed .5 inches.

3. Shirt sleeve taken in 2 inches, shortened 1 inch.

4. Shirt back taken in 1 inch, lower back 1.5 inches.

5. Haircut 10 days prior to event. Hair product choice, pending.

By the third round, I should have this pretty figured out. Guys- don't bring your dates. Ladies, try not to swoon so bad.

Dancing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHj1Gv4HNEg

These guys are definitely going to win. They're the sickest.

Sometimes when I watch enough YouTube of people doing amazing things, I think "oh yeah, I can do that". But then reality kicks in.

Routine:

Whenever someone has recently asked me how things are going, my answer has been "routine". These past few weeks especially, I have done nothing outside of eat, watch TV, sleep, drive, and work during the week. And even going out on the weekends has become routine. While each weekend presents a different fun event, the schedule is still the same and the feelings of excitement ending in extreme fatigue are the same weekend to weekend.

Basically, all I'm saying is that I've been uncreative and unmotivated and I think it would be nice to have dinners in the District again, to take weekend trips, or to plan a spectacular cookout. You know, mix it up a little.

400:

Happy 400th post, blog. Thanks to all the supporters and commenters who have made such a feat possible. What they say is true- there really are some angels in this city.

Ticks:

The manager of my department (two levels up from my position) is a pocket change jingler. I think that speaks volumes about what kind of person he is.

Vegetables:

Yesterday I had the day off from work. I woke up with the energy and determination to make it a productive day with some laundry and actually getting out of the house to run a few errands at the mall. But soon after I hit a road block- trying to get my hair cut. The first place I went was too crowded and the other place I had looked up I couldn't find. Then I figured I could just go home and either cut it myself or walk over to Knockout cuts two blocks away. Instead my momentum fizzled out when I plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.

I know that I actually need that time to not do anything and relax to offset the time I spend at work and the energy I spend going out to events and such. It just feels like a waste of time, and it sucks having stuff that I failed to get accomplished still hovering over my head throughout the rest of the work week.

Next week I will be changing over to the 4-10 hour work days and will be having Mondays off. I didn't want to fight with my other coworkers over getting Fridays off, and plus nobody's really doing that much work on Fridays anyway so I figured it would be best to skip out on Mondays. I hope that with my added day off I will find the motivation to use that time well.

Rather:

If you were in an arranged marriage situation...
would you rather:

have your mate be a shallow supermodel and spend time developing a deeper personality with them

or

have your mate be an interesting, but physically less attractive person... but have a lot of money for physical modifications?

you know, like if he was just like all the way there but had a little something to remind me of the good old days.

Jumbles:

I haven't taken much time recently to do much thinking. I don't think I've been able to sort out my feelings lately, nor do I think I really want to. It's probably a formula of one part numbness and one part neglection. Of course, the result is some form of self-ignorance or denial. Whenever someone asks me what I'm thinking about these days or how I am doing, I can honestly answer with, "I don't know" and just leave it at that. Soon, I'm sure, I will have some time to sort out and talk about my insides, but until then... it's kind of like having a cluttered and messy room with dirty laundry everywhere and saying "eh, whatever."

Jobbing:

I don't write that much about work on here, which I find strange since I spend so much time at work and also generate all of my posts from work. So here's a tidbit regarding work.

My supervisor is pretty awesome. While she is rather intimidating and runs a lot of people over (if you get in her way, she will destroy you with her massive intellect), if you have a good attitude then she is totally supportive. Yesterday I chaired my first customer meeting for a subdivision project. To me, customer meetings are always a bit surreal. Here I am, a lowly engineer, shaking hands with the VP of an electrical firm or the property owner of this multi-million dollar lot or an architect who's designed all sorts of buildings in DC. The fact that I am supposed to be telling these bigwigs what they need to do is daunting and seems silly.

Before the meeting my supervisor pulls me aside and tells me, "You seem to be too tentative. They are your applicant. They are asking for your help, so take more control. You know this stuff so I want you to be in charge of the situation." And then after the meeting she stops by my cube and says, "That was good in there. Good job." I truly believe that the boss can make or break the deal for any job position.

For a while I've been tinkering with the idea of going to another company. I might be able to get a pay increase (doesn't really matter) and reduce my commute to 10 minutes (would be really sweet). I know they are hiring because they've just picked up a friend of mine who just graduated and also have made offers to two of the engineers from my workplace. The main reason I haven't been hard pressed to apply is because my supervisor doesn't deserve the pains that come with hiring and training a new person and covering all the work until that person is up to speed. If I were to be moved to another section (which is entirely possible with all sorts of people leaving the department), though, I would be looking elsewhere in a heartbeat.

That's my story.

Genesis:

Also, happy New Years all. I'm sorry if I am unable to spend the beginning of 2008 with you; I really wish I could be at a dozen places at once.

(I have fond memories of playing the Sega Genesis on New Years Eve, watching the ball drop, then returning to the game console to play Sonic the Hedgehog or NHL 1990 something.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auld_Lang_Syne
I have no intention of ever trying to remember the words.

Listen:

Is it just me, or do you have a voice in your head too? Sometimes I think I can hear myself debate myself, and my own thoughts are so loud and clear that I feel like I might as well be talking outloud to myself. While I can see the advantages of having a strong sense of self, I don't think this innervoice of mine finds very much resolution in whatever it has to say. For example, I never hear myself think, "oh, it is what it is.. that's cool." Instead it's more like, "...but, what about... and what if...? oh scheisse." I'm probably just going crazy and need to figure out how to let go of things. Some medication would probably help.

Blogs:

With the sudden explosion of blogger's popularity, the purpose of my blog has been brought to question in my mind. I tend not to have very many funny anecdotes to write up in here. Even if I did, I know my story telling skills are subpar so I wouldn't even try. I don't have a lot of deep-though-stuff posted; only on occasion will I spill my mind out onto the web. But looking through the past couple of years, I can see that I have recorded a lot of memories and random thoughts which show to me how I have changed and evolved recently. It's very intriguing to read something and think, "wait, I wrote that?"

Hence, I will continue to post every now and then. And stalk other peoples' blogs vigorously. And post for the sake of trying to draw out comments. Because comments make you feel good. Don't deny it.

Brown:

This morning I dressed in the dark. I try to avoid turning on the lights because the blasting incandescent yellow is not so pleasant at 5 AM. Instead I've been lighting up candles in both my room and while in the shower. Today I was too lazy to light the candle while I dressed and grabbed what I thought were my black pants. What I ended up putting on were dark navy slacks that were of similar material and fit as my black pants. A tragedy indeed, for they didn't quite go with the black shoes and belt or the brown shirt. I've been trying to hide out in my cube as much as possible today. I knew there was a reason I don't typically wear brown and red.

Thanksgiving:

Happy turkey day, all. I hope you had your fill.

Something about this holiday makes me feel old and young at the same time.

Feelings:

I've recently learned that feelings are not something that can be controlled. The choices and actions that are a result of emotional stimulation certainly can, but the internal reaction is often inevitable and inalterable. So I've come to realize that I might as well embrace whatever I feel. Strangely elementary.

Capitalism:

I was walking to Barnes and Nobles yesterday to pick up the new Jay Z album and saw a Starbucks that I didn't know existed. I searched "starbucks near" my work address in Google maps and found about 30 stores within a 1 mile radius, and about 15 of those were under a .5 mile radius. Now that's just outright ridiculous. Excessive.

Pie:

No Ned! Don't do it!!

Lately, my TV schedule has been:
Monday- Chuck
Tuesday- House
Wednesday- Pushing Daisies (top pick)
Thursday- Smallville and The Office
With the occasional Jeorpardy, King of Queens, and Family Guy thrown in at random times.

What can I say? I enjoy the occasional romantically tense situation.

Meetings:

I suck at meeting new people. I find that I have a fairly pessimistic view on the general practice of trying to initiate a bond with a stranger, unless they have been highly recommended by another friend. This evening I went to a construction networking event where we (a few people from my office went) were supposed to meet and chat with contractors and companies from the area. What they ended up doing is after a while of mingling, they split everyone up into groups and began the "Speed Networking" portion of the evening (haha yes, they said they got the idea from speed dating... Anna). So I made small talk for 2 minutes and exchanged business cards with ten people, which wasn't difficult or painful... but was certainly pointless. I learned nothing about their company, what they do really, or who they are as a person. Once we were done with that, I had no desire whatsoever to shake anyone else's hand or pursue further conversation with anyone... I mean, what did I really have to gain from investing my energies into anyone there in the room (exception- coworkers of course)? I find myself leaning more and more towards that anti-new-social school of thought, and just asking myself "what's the point?"

P.S. I really enjoy spending time out of the office with people from work. It was a real treat that my supervisor came out to this event. She's pretty awesome. Beer/Open bar is a plus.

Fuel:

On Friday afternoon I filled up on gas and reset the tripometer. By Sunday evening I had somehow racked up 300 miles, and the entire time I had left Kanye in the CD player. I think that after listening through the album 5 times, I've come to appreciate every song with one exception. Know which that one is? I don't think they play it on the radio.

Lame:

Not having anything planned to do after work makes the day go by so slowly. It makes everything unexciting. How late are the museums open on weekdays?

West:

I bought Kanye's new album the other day and it's alright. I picked it up because I was getting bored of listening to Daft Punk all day at work. I had a brief stint of the soundtrack of Pocahontas, but that got old fast.

Poll:

Diamonds or rubies?

Sociality:

I find it interesting how much I can be defined by not only my social surroundings, but also my general social levels. For instance, I can often gauge how excited I am for an upcoming week based on the post-work activities I have planned out with people. If there is a dry spell then I am easily depressed and bored. This is all simple and intuitive, but to me the magnitude of influence these social variations have on me is surprising. I think I've become hooked and bought into the trendy concepts of 'community' and 'sharing life together' to the point of reliance.
This brings me to my next thought. Some people appear to me as very head-strong and immune to these variations. Though they may partake regularly in 'community', they are not defined by it. For example, if they were to say they wanted to go live on an oil rig for a few years, they would go ahead and follow that desire regardless of the community roots that they have developed. Perhaps it has something to do with the confidence they have in the fact that those friendships will endure. Something about that kind of confidence and the kind of confidence that leads one to follow their desires without regrets is extremely attractive to me. I believe that may be because I am lacking in those confidences and want to leech them off of others. Leech is a terrible word.

Dwelling:

How do you not dwell on things? You know, things you shouldn't/don't want to be constantly worried about, yet are. Some days I wish I was simply all robot.

Currency:

I've established a new rule for this month. Walking around Chinatown, I've found a ton of places I would love to try. All of these places, incidentally (or not), are quite a bit on the expensive side. However, I am currently not incurring any expenses other than transportation and eating out so I can rationalize the occasional good time out. Hence if you can arrange a solid evening date or group date with me during the week, I will treat you out to one of the places of which I crave their food. Deal.

Overtime:

I am adjusting fairly quickly and keeping quite busy at work. I'm progressively making my way towards being a productive member of the group, which makes things more enjoyable. Strangely, I also have not had adverse feelings towards staying overtime, though my supervisor has expressed that currently the budget is low and working extra should be kept to a minimum. Even so, the office is quiet and relaxing in the late afternoon so I don't mind staying an extra couple minutes to look a few things over and not getting paid for any of it. My attitude toward work has been fairly healthy and I hope it continues as time erodes away at my life.

So far I don't have anything planned for the holiday weekend except for Sunday night. This is an open invitation to coordinate with me to do something so that I am not bored and wasting away the precious weekend. Maybe I'll even take you out to dinner.

Tired:

Oh man, it's an hour and a half past my bed time. I'm still recovering from the weekend. And the nine bug bites.

Supplies:

Already I am starting to mesh with my work environment. I still have a long way to go, but I've been pretty quick picking up on the dynamics of my work group. Today I got to do two neat things. First, in the afternoon I got to go on my first field visit. Usually new people have to jump through a bunch of hoops and wait a few weeks before they're able to go out to the field, but I was able to pull a few strings. So from 2-4 pm I got paid to take a ride through the city, walk around the house, and take a few measurements... all while wearing a hard hat, neon vest, boots, and safety goggles. Second, I got my hands on the supplies catalog. It's a book about the size of a phone book which I get to go through and select whatever I want from it for my office. Yeah, I'll be getting the $40 Swingline chrome-coated stapler.

The days go by a lot quicker and are more exciting when I have something sweet planned for the evenings. No doubt.

Work:

Today marked the beginning of my first real job. I'll give you all the low-down on what I did today with periodic interjections concerning thoughts and impressions of the job position.

Orientation started at 8:30, but my ride to the metro began at 6:40 so I got there rather early. I decided to burn the time at Starbucks which is connected to the lobby of my building. After semi-awkwardly sipping a coffee by myself (see Joel's blog) I got my guest badge and began the video regiment. They sat the six of us new employees in a conference room and fed tapes into the VCR that had lame 80's/early 90's actors telling us about how to use a fire extinguisher and what sexual harassment is. Midway through the video marathon, the benefits guy came in and explained what benefits were available to us. I'm fairly impressed with what the company has to offer. One thing that I am excited about is that they are trying to promote fitness so the company will pay $100 each month to any gym membership you have. I hope that they will approve EarthTreks because that would cover all expenses! Anyway, this is also when things got a little awkward. The benefits guy asked who fell into the management category since they get an improved retirement plan and immediate medical coverage. I was the only one to raise my hand. And then I felt silly, being placed with the management group when all five other people in the room were older and more experienced than I was. One guy was already working for Pepco and was just switching departments... and there I was, green as grass grows reaping in the benefits. I could see why there is and always has been a divide between management and everywhere else. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but I was separated from the rest of the group from then on- sometimes physically, but mostly socially.

After all of the orientation stuff was done I got to go meet my group and get started. My direct supervisor is the cool lady I interviewed with, so it was nice to see a familiar face and exciting to get to work under her. I met probably 80 people really quickly as I was given the office tour and shook a bunch of hands. One of the guys I recognized from Maryland, but we had never met so it was cool to talk with him about school and stuff. Turns out he walked (that means graduated) with me and had already been working for two months. For the rest of the day I shadowed him as he started a project from the beginning so I could get an idea of what I would be doing. So here is what I do:

The city already has a fair amount of electrical systems infrastructure (power lines) provided by Pepco. A person who is building in the city or is expanding their electrical needs in any way will become one of our customers. They ask for power and I have to design the layout to give them that power. And from there it becomes amazingly complicated, even with the simplest of projects, when you have to consider codes, safety, and the builders who will be implementing the design. It's a little bit like complex legos. The job is not ultra-technical like where you're trying to model an oak tree by chiseling every detail out of stone. Rather it's like building the oak tree with legos, but you have to make sure the color of the pieces are all right and the pieces all fit so that the model is structurally sound and robust. There's my analogy.

Lastly, the environment. One of the first things my boss told me was to never come in a tie again. Nobody who works on that floor wears a tie. The people are pretty cool and a bunch of them have already invited me to ask them any questions I come across, so I plan to do that. My cubical is bare, but I plan to make it homelier soon. A plant and a couple of picture frames will liven up the place. With this long post, I think I've reported on everything. Day two begins in 7 hours and 20 minutes to I'm gonna hit the sack. Peace.

Physicality:

Nothing too new to report. Just a few quick thoughts.

Two things that do not mix in seminars- dramatic/energetic presentation and logical fallacies. Sometimes you can get away with presenting partial truths, as a comprehensive explanation would not be fitting to get the point across... however when stated in an excited fashion the partial is presented as an absolute truth. Doing such a thing irritates me to no end.

Volleyball is the chiznit. I find it really fun to play and quite enjoyable to learn. I believe, though, that it is too late for me to really get into it competitively so I will only play in the most casual of settings... unless an opportunity presents itself where I can truly commit to learn the sport (example: if there's a community or work league).

It's been a rather slow day on facebook. Not the sort of day I prefer.

I finished the third book of the Martin series. I gotta say, it's gotten too tedious and I don't think I want to read on. Mason, I can give you more thoughts and details if you want.

Messiah:

@ Messiah for the weekend. See ya'll later.

300:

Honestly, I'm trying to race my way to 400 posts. Not gonna lie.

Today I was watching the special features disc of 300 and was wondering whether any of the stunt men were scared. Of course, the fight scenes were choreographed and against the blue screen the motions look sluggish compared to what you see in the movie. But then again... there would be a large guy whose been working out 4 hours a day for 6 weeks straight charging at you with a stick. Sucks to be that guy.

On a different note, I'd like to mention my guilty pleasure #2: fantasy novels... of the knights and magic type stuff. I've started book three, the final book, of this series and once I finish it I might give a review of my thoughts. 'Might' because I still am embarrassed to show how much I take to these novels.

Choked:

As I was considering what to write here, I realized that I have not had any moments of nostalgia in a really long time. Perhaps I haven't had any due to the fact that I've become more worried about the future- trying to see where I'll be a few years ahead instead of subconsciously overlaying the past with the present.

Lately I've been immersed in conversation concerning money... and rightly so considering the drastic changes that will be happening in my life. I realize that I cannot/should not maintain the level of luxuries I've been able to enjoy this past week. Movies at the theater, eating out at expensive places, bars... parts will have to be cut out. While I won't have to worry about certain things that other people have to save for (ie. engagement rings, buying property and house for the family, wedding costs, etc.), I will have to make sure that I put aside enough so I can buy a nice European sports car aka chick-magnet. It's the only reasonable thing to do. A sports car and 24 inches of gold chain. Yeah that should do the trick.

Movies:

I want to buy 300 on blu-ray, but I haven't got a blu-ray player to watch it on.

Yesterday I went to a sushi buffet place that was really quite good for the price. The variety was very good and they didn't skimp on the good ingredients. Afterwards I watched the Bourne Ultimatum which was very fun to watch, despite being overly similar to the second movie. Before seeing it, I would recommend reviewing the very end of Supremacy.

That's all I've got for now.

Forward:

Things have indeed moved forward. By the end of this week I'll be receiving an offer from Pepco and they want me to make a decision and sign off on it by Tuesday. That doesn't give me a ton of time to think about it, but that's understandable since they don't want to wait for my other options to develop. Right now, the offer looks very attractive and I've had a positive feeling about it... thinking that there's a 94% chance that I'll probably take the offer and be working by August 20th.

I haven't fully weighted out what living and working would look like. I mean, there's the commute, work environment, post-work activities, financials all to consider with this new phase of life approaching. I haven't even talked to my parents about living in Baltimore yet. The whole thing seems daunting... exciting also, but still there is fear in me.

Anyway, there's still much I need to think through (is this the third time I've mentioned this?) so I'll keep ya'll posted on any developments.

Back:

Well, I'm back from the beach and life resumes. Thus far every single person I've come in contact with has commented on how tan I am and has pointed out that I will probably get skin cancer. Noobs.

New Jersey was a blast and relaxing. It was neat to live and spend time with people who make me laugh. For some reason, though, the whole trip felt like the end of an era- as if things are now meant to be different. Nothing is different around here. My circumstances have not changed at all. Perhaps that feeling is the motivation for me to move on, move forward. It sounds good in theory, but in reality I remain apprehensive. Recently, for every step forward I've taken two back. Progress has never been my forte and in the past it has always been easier for me to just let things lie where they lay instead of dealing with the issues at hand.

As of late I have been thinking about and tempted by the concept of a new slate. What would it be like if I found a job out in California? I could run away from all the good and bad things in my life and start over... meet new people, present myself however I cared to, discuss only choice parts of my past. Again, sounds great in theory but I know the reality of it can be very hard. Running away is, in most cases, the easier and less correct option. Anyway, there are many things here that I would not trade... even for a new start. While I've given up on many a dream here, I still have a few to chase.

Interviews:

Today everything sort of developed. I was running around doing laundry and trying to get some cash so that I could metro down to DC for my Pepco interview. However, around 10 am this guy calls me from the PTO to see if I want to do a 20 minute phone interview. I went ahead and answered his questions and found it to be good "practice" for later in the day. The phone interview was short and succinct, and the end of the conversation sounded positive. But, I was put a few minutes behind schedule so my decision making processes were rushed. I decided to not take my suit jacket. I got on the metro and everything was fine until the Bethesda stop when a couple of suits boarded the train. I immediately regretted not having a suit jacket. What if one of those guys was going to interview for the same position I was trying for? I would automatically be at a disadvantage. It took me a few minutes to rationalize things out. They had individually scheduled out an interviewing time for me so it was highly unlikely that they would be bringing in another candidate that day or even that week. Also, it turned out that I was not out-dressed by the interviewing panel which meant my attire was sufficient. But I've learned my lesson- always err on the side of fashionable... even when it is hot as butt outside.

Also I got an e-mail from booz today for an interviewing night next week, but I'll be out of town so I'm waiting to hear back from them on whether I can schedule something else.

The library books have all come in so I'll go pick them up tomorrow morning (Mason aka dreamboat).

The button on my shorts broke. Does anyone know how to sew a button on? Also, does anyone have a button they could lend me?

Schedule:

This week should be pretty cool since I've got things to do lined up. Here's what I'm doing, give me a call if you want in:

Tuesday- College Park for some, hang out with Schuch, birthday dinner at Cheesecake Factory
Wednesday- interview in DC, climbing at ET Rockville
Thursday- Harry Potter at night in DC
Friday- College Park, visit 1501 Lombard

and then away to the beach the next week!

Beer:

I want to go to one of those A&W restaurants. You know why? Because they got root beer on tap. Yeah buddy... root beer's the stuff.

Mozart:

Dear people who dislike classical music, this will probably be boring for you.

The other day I watched "Amadeus" which is a movie that portrays the rise and fall of Mozart the composer. You can IMDB it... I'm too lazy to put up the link for you. Anyway, I've seen this movie several times and I never get tired of it. The music, all composed by the man himself, is fantastic... pure genius. But what I love most about the movie is that it takes the music apart and analyzes it so that you can appreciate the beauty of the whole. Example- towards the end of the movie Mozart is dictating his composition to another man. He spells out each individual part separately (bass vocal, tenor, trumpet, strings, etc.) and you can hear the instrumental sound that he's imagining. Then all the parts are played in unison and the whole piece comes together in magnificent form.

Okay, I'm a nerd. I grew up on Mozart. The first play I ever saw was a take on the Magic Flute. His concertos are among my favorite. And the Requiem... man, don't mess with the Requiem. But see the movie if you think you can keep from being overly bored by it.

Update:

Hello friends. It has been quite some time since I've updated, but only because I haven't had much to post about. But here we go.

I was away on vacation last week on a cruise to Halifax, Nova Scotia. That's in Canada, by the way. It was fairly boring in terms as vacations go- with 3500 cruisers on board I would guess that 93% of them wore diapers and the average age was 68. I hope that I will not make it to the age of being crusty. On the plus side of the whole shebang, the food was pretty good.

In other news, my car was recovered. It was a pain getting it out of the impound, with the process of going to the police station and the MVA taking most of the day. Then there was the whole problem of it only going a few hundred yards before completely shutting down. As it turns out, there was a problem with the battery and the security system inhibiting the ignition. As of right now, the car has been fixed to working order and should be driving like new within the next week or so. Everything except for my backpack and my computer was left in the car, so now I can go climbing again with all my gear.

That's enough for now. I'll write more when my life isn't so boring.

Limbo:

Oh hey...

I almost forgot about this junks.

I don't take pictures, and I don't have any saved pictures since I don't have my own computer at the moment.

I am trying to focus on putting together interesting things to fill the time.

Facebook is probably the best way to find stuff out about what I'm doing.

Late:

The late night does funny things to your mind. Some say it plays tricks on you; others say it is a time of pure clairvoyance. It's current effects on me - I cannot discern right now.

Motives:

In high school literature classes, my teachers always emphasized the 'why'. They said to focus on why the author chose to write in certain rhythms or why the use of illustrative language or why the theme on liminality. I remember sometime this one teacher would just write in red pen 'why?' at the end of my papers.

I wonder why I do certain things. What are my motives? Before I can evaluate whether my motives are right and pure, I have to figure out what they are. Sometimes I feel like I have such built up, complex networks of emotion and doubts that I can't truly identify the reason behind my actions. Say something as simple as a laugh or giggle at something amusing makes me wonder why I thought it was so funny, or why I reacted with more animation instead of just smiling. Or for example why I would do someone a favor. Am I expecting something in return? Isn't it human and natural to expect something in return whether it is physical, spiritual, or emotional? Should I feel guilty if I want something back? Why am I helping or giving? I don't know. There are simple answers that make a lot of sense. You know, because I care, because I'm supposed to, because it is what Jesus desires of me, because it is good. There are also many simple answers that don't sound as good... because I want them to like me, because it gets me attention, because in the end I'll come out on top.
I've seem to stumble upon the fact that the question of why brings up so many 'because's and hence, makes the whole motives thing so complex. The added dimension of sorting these 'because's creates another layer of complexity. I hope to figure this motives thing out a little more in my head, and work hard to straigten out why I act as I do.

Strengths:

At any given job interview, they always ask what are your strengths and weaknesses. I always make something up... something that sounds good and fancy. Really, I'm not very good at a lot of things. But now that I think about it, I am pretty good at least a couple of things:

1. Sneaking. Because I am really light my footsteps don't make very much noise. I try my best to make use of shadows and if the person is walking I synchronize my step pattern with theirs. Plus I have a small frame so I can slip through small places like staircase guards or parking garage fences. I would make a decent spy, except I am relatively not non-descript and I also would probably get really nervous of being discovered.

2. Senses. I think my five senses are in pretty good shape. I have a good, musical ear which I haven't damaged since I haven't been to too many rock concerts (nor do I own an iPod to blast music with). I'm beginning to understand food better, which has allowed me to develop a stronger awareness of taste. I've always been fairly sensitive to touch, just in general. I think my smelling is about normal and my vision is slightly below normal. Not too bad all around.

I wonder how the interviewer would respond if I answered with these.

Shows:

To procrastinate from studying and as requested by Seye, I present to you- another post.

While poking around on YouTube, I came across this little nugget:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqMOEcCAj2o

Man, seeing this brings back so many fond memories.

Hey, why don't you leave a comment with a memory from one of these childhood TV shows and I'll see if I share it with you:
Mr. Rogers
Power Rangers
The Magic School Bus
Barney
Bill Nye

Psalmer:

To be honest, I either skim or skip whatever is posted if I know it's not just the author writing. You know- song lyrics, book excerpts, news articles, and Bible verses... they're so cliche. But I don't really care because my blogging medium has never been very entertaining in the first place so I have no standard to uphold.

David writes:
O Lord, I call to you;
come quickly to me.
Hear my voice when I call to you.
May my prayer be set before you like incense;
may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil,
to take part in wicked deeds
with men who are evildoers;
let me not eat of their delicacies.
Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head.
My head will not refuse it.

And his words are fantastic... they reach into my soul.

Psalm:

David writes:

O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

That, my friends, is gorgeous and is the prayer of my heart. I hope it can be of encouragement to you if you are experiencing some dryness.

Injustice:

This is absolutely ridiculous:
http://smallthingswithgreatlove.com/

Check it out and sign the petition.

I've typed a dozen different sentences here and keep erasing... I'm not sure how to spill these thoughts on respecting other cultures, yet standing up for the oppressed.

Shoes:

I used to only own a single pair of shoes. Sometime around junior or senior year of high school I purchased a pair of New Balance tennis shoes to be worn for almost all occasions. For dress shoes I would borrow a pair from my dad. However, now I might own more shoes than I have owned cumulatively throughout my life. Let's take a look.

First, I couldn't find a picture of my old NB shoes since they're ultra old. I tore half of the sole off playing racquetball last week so a replacement was in order.


I picked these babies up from Costco to be my running/ all-purpose athletic shoes. If you see me at any given moment I'll probably be wearing these (I don't expect the white to keep very long with how much use I think they'll be getting).


These were bought yesterday. They're quite beautiful and very stylish if I may say so myself. My dad got sick of me stealing his shoes so he took me out to get a pair of my own. After three different shoe shops we found a style I liked at a reasonable price. The soles are made of really hard leather so they don't really bend when I step. Hey, they only hurt a little when I walk... a price to pay for looking good.

These slip on loafers are for when I'm wearing khakis. Really, nothing else I have is business casual.

These were really cheap at REI... I couldn't help myself. I'll probably wear these whenever I go out on the town.

Also really cheap at REI. I field tested these on a short hike the other day and they were very comfortable and allowed me spectacular control on even sharp, slipery inclines. I can't wait to go camping and do some serious trails with these on.

I need sandals, obviously, if I'm going to be doing summer activities. I got these in Hawaii because I had a pair that hurt my feet. As an added feature they have a bottle opener on the sole for IBC cream soda beverages and the such.

On to climbing shoes. These are my pride and joy. I haven't fully broken them in yet, but I know that my performance has increased significantly when climbing with the Anasazis. They are a top notch, aggresive climbing shoe so I can no longer blame my performance on my lack of gear. Rock shoes just don't get better than these. I picked these up at full price since I couldn't do some of the more technical moves with the old junks I was sporting.

My first set of climbing shoes and a definite pair of workhorses. They're like the ones pictured except green and an older model. They are a great beginners shoe to comfortably learn foot placement with some edging and some toe grip. Unfortunately, they are flat bottomed so there's only so much pull you can get with them. Also, I started to tear a hole in the rubber so I've started to retire them.

Ryan picked these up for me because they were cheap, but they are just the tiniest bit too small. As a matter of fact, my left foot fits but the right just doesn't squeeze in. They are ultra aggressive and sweet looking, but I'll probably just put them up on ebay... unless anyone thinks they have smaller feet than me, then they can just take them.

And finally, I found a pair of these... used and smelly for only two dollars. They don't fit me at all, but if someone has slightly larger feet than me, they can have these.

That's all of the footwear I own. Too many pairs of shoes? I think so. I'm really just used to having no choices and wearing one pair all the time. Hopefully these last me a long time and I don't make anymore purchases for a while.

Talents:

You know those dumb ice breakers where you go around in a circle and say your name, year, major, and something interesting about yourself? I always draw a blank on the last one. Now I'm going to just say that my talent is Minesweeper, and that I'm pretty sick at it. Is that interesting enough for ya, punk?

Vegetable:

Not really feeling alive right now.

Retreat:

This new google log in system has made it such that I am much less inclined to update. I don't enjoy signing in and out just to switch accounts.

This weekend was my last IV retreat, excluding chapter camp. It's a strange feeling, thinking that after 8 times of going through the retreat routines, I'll probably never do anything quite like them again. The seminars this time were fairly interesting, small groups were eh, and the rest of the time kind of just went by in a blur. This week will be moderately busy with a few exams and homework assignments due, so I was trying to be a good student and study over the weekend. I guess I've become one of those boring retreat nerds. For the first time in my retreat career, we had snow... and a good dumping of it also. Late Saturday night we built a pretty sweet bonfire and then the white stuff started to fall. It was pretty magical. I should have used the spectacular setting to hit on someone and get them to marry me. Shucks, I guess I'll just have to resort to alternative methods like rufies. What? Who said that?

One of the last exercises was to write a letter to our future selves that we will receive in one year. I think that'll be pretty interesting to read a year from now. I'm excited about how things will be changing.

Stories:

Oh... that is really sad. I don't have any really funny old school stories. I'm very convinced that my childhood was a boring one filled with academics and classical music. Crap, I don't want my kids to be like that.

Puma The Suede kicks: $50 Merrell Mesa Ventilator II Trail shoes: $75

REI Polar Pod +20 degree sleeping bag: $69

Insulmat inflating sleeping pad: $28

Sierra Design Hyperlight AST 2-person tent: $220

Total price given these Amazon.com prices = $442

I got all of this at the REI sale for: 15+27+25+12+90 = $169 ... not bad

Corks:

It's not everyday that you get to go out to a nice restaurant. Thursday night I went to probably one of the nicest places I've ever been. Mr. Raine and I enjoyed a deightful meal in which I could simply summarize as exquisite. However, a summary would not do it justice.

The first thing we saw as we entered the restaurant was the kitchen. Right there we could see the work of the chef and his two sou chefs as they cooked and plated the food.

The meal started with wine. The place, as evident by its name, puts a strong emphasis on wine and how it can be complimented by food. I ordered a 2004 chardonnay since I was going to be having fish and Raine got an 2002 Shiraz to go with his beef. Both were excellent wines.

Raine's starter was a Yukon Gold potato soup. Yukon Gold potatos are a medium starch potato that are typically used for more tender potato preparation, but I guess it can be used for upscale soups.

I started with a grilled sweet onion salad. The grilled onion was truly the star of the dish, and I thought it should have been presented in a more prominent manner. The vinaegrette was quite good with a slight hint of salty parmesan. I wouldn't rank this as an extremely delicate starter, in terms of flavor, but I think it served pace the rest of the meal.

Raine's beef burgoisnon (sp?) over mashed potatos and field carrots. He said it melted in your mouth.

My pan seared escolar (snake mackeral) over a white truffle panacotta with baby colliflower. First the presentation is excellent. The car and precision put into making the little tadpoles and even foaming the sauce slightly to add texture to the plate just made this dish fun to eat. The escolar might have been the best fish I have ever tasted. It didn't flake in the same way as talapia or bass do. Instead it was just tender. The savoriness of the pan sear complimented the panacotta really well. I could tell the ingredients were well thought out and the concept in the chef's head was executed perfectly.

Raine finished with a traditional vanilla creme brulee. Absolutely smooth.

I finished with a ricotta pear cheesecake. I've never had a ricotta cheesecake before. It's an entirely different approach to cheesecake. Instead of the creamy, sit-in-your-mouth richness that typical cheesecakes have, this one instantly melted in your mouth because of the lightness and fluffiness of the cheese preparation. Delicious choice of pear, caramel, and walnut.

This all leaves me to wonder, will I ever eat any better than this in my life?

Conclusion:

I forget it too often. I need Jesus. I can't explain it in full... part of it is how I view myself, part of it is how I think others view me, part of it is how I see the world. Without Him I am nothing. Even to those who are close to me and value me dearly, I would be nothing to them if it were not for the work that He has been, is, and will be doing in my life. When I think about it, I wouldn't want the people around me to value anything else in me except for the way I live for Jesus. Let it be the testament of my life- I need Jesus.

Stolen:

I kind of stole this one, but I think it's fun:

If you got onto the Amazing Race, who would you choose to be your partner?

Haunted:

Have you ever been haunted by your dreams? I know some fears will manifest themselves in a recurring theme. But what about the dreams where amazingly good things happen and you wake up to find out that you haven't done anything except kick off your blankets? Those can haunt you too. So my mornings for this past week have been fairly torturous mentally and emotionally. I'll leave it at that.

Jerk:

I'm anti-Ibekwe... what a jerkface.

Zoom:

Lately I feel like my brains have been turned to mush. There aren't a ton of reasons for which I should be unable to meditate deeply or focus my thinking. Anyway, I've been challenged to stop dwelling in a world of theoreticals and instead try to refocus on the big picture. That's a completely loaded challenge, but I think it can be handled step by step. The first thing I will try to do is become a more rigorous observer. Though I can pick up on a decent set of things as is, I want to make more of an effort to take observations at face value and not make over assumptions in my head. I suppose that could be restated as me wanting to be more trusting of people. You said it, I believe it and will take it to heart. One step at a time...

Chill:

Crazy parties and late night outings are great, but nothing beats a chill night like this. The bars can be fun, but I wouldn't trade the face fatigue from all the laughing for anything. Oh and crepes make me a bit nostalgic.



Update: These are the days that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Sands:

Do you ever get the feeling that time is just slipping away?

Drinking:

This is rather lame and embarassing, but I figure it is worth documenting.

Tonight I probably had the most to drink while out on the town. A grand total of three beverages... maybe. I had two beers and a shooter which I'm not sure really had alcohol in it since I didn't taste anything and it didn't burn. Anyway, the exact amount of alcohol I consumed is irrelevant. In order to evaluate how intoxicated I was, I tried to think up of a way to mentally check my awareness levels and thought control. So, yes, I started doing simple math problems in my head. And I found out that I was still rather proficient, able to do a few three digit multiplications before I got bored and lost focus. I still have no idea what my limits are, except for the fact that three drinks only make me tired. That's all of the observations I was able to extract from this trial; additional experiments will be approached with added caution.

Finale:

Things I am looking forward to this last semester:

1. Slightly lighter school load = more free time
2. Volleyball!!! Even though I suck royally it should still be fun
3. Warming weather? Hopefully climbing season will kick back into full swing
4. Living in the house and riding with my boyz
5. Small group
6. Easter - it's a cool season
7. Chapter camp... always love it
8. Party - I would love to just host a random party
9. A camping trip would be really sweet... hopefully putting one together
10. Hanging out, obviously

Extraction:

No hitches yet. I switched from a general anesthesia procedure to a local anesthetic one. The surgeon shot me up good with novacaine and proceeded to do his work while I watched. I couldn't see much, thankfully, but I had a general idea of what was going on. Anyway, I couldn't feel my mouth until maybe 7 or 8 hours after the procedure which is a good thing. I've started my antibiotic and vicatin rotation, though I did extend this last vicatin break to see the effects. It has not been particularly pleasant and the last dose has taken a good half hour to kick in. Thus far I've been sticking to the applesauce. It goes down pretty easy, but I've gotta say that even three or four bowls isn't very satisfying. At the top of my priority list tomorrow- concocting a delicious soup.

I am supremely bored. Prescribed inactivity here is almost claustrophobic.

Wisdom:

Tomorrow I go under the knife for the second time in my life. At least, I think I will if that's what the procedure involves... I'm not wholly familiar. Anyway, I plan to be out of commission for a few days - staying in and probably sitting with my computer a lot... eating jello and applesauce. I'm not sure what kind of painkillers they're going to give me, though I've heard that they do give vicatin so I am thoroughly looking forward to seeing what that might feel like. I do hope I am aware enough from 8 pm to 10 pm tomorrow to watch the continuation of 24. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It makes him angry.

Sci-Fi:

I've been fairly unproductive today. No... I've been very unproductive, actually. I read the book "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card and also proceeded to watch a couple of the Star Wars movies. I sort of see the whole sequence as a homage to my older nerdy ways. I had never gotten around to reading "Ender's Game" even though I had heard a lot about it while I was in middle school since my brother was reading it. Back in those days I was really into reading Sci-Fi. I read through just about every Star Wars book (the good ones, not the silly young jedi series) that was available at the library at that time. I've always loved Star Wars the originals. Few people probably remember when they digitally remastered the original three movies and rereleased them in theaters with extra scenes. I stood out in line to watch them at the Uptown theater. All three of them... and it was awesome. I've played a fair amount of the video games released (Jedi Knight 1, 2, and 3, Jedi Academy, Episode 1 on PS, Pod-racer, X-Wing Alliance, Battlegrounds, KOTOR I and II... that's 10!!!) and also have a collection of toys that are lying around here somewhere. So obviously, the movies have had a pretty large influence in my nerdish upbringing.

The detail provided about this imaginary universe allowed for the formation of building blocks, those of which could allow the universe to be expanded on. Okay, for example... Bacta is mentioned only once briefly in the second movie. This is the name of the substance Luke is submerged in seen in the second movie. Why give a name to it? Because it let's you know that it's not water, but rather a rare substance that speeds up the healing process. That's all implied in the movie. And from there, bacta is found in almost every Star Wars franchise product as the medical commodity of the universe. It's the details that let the universe come alive and let your imagination indulge in fantasy. Han mentions the Kessel Run in a brief quip in the first movie. It's used a couple of times in the books and in at least one of the space flight video games, you get to race through the route to see if you beat Han Solo's time.

On another note, I absolutely love the musical score. I've played parts of it in an orchestra and I can confidently say that it is the best orchestral movie score ever written. Hands down. If you want to argue it, go somewhere else.

Thanks for letting me indulge in my nerdom.

Updates:

Just a few quick updates:

-I haven't been getting as much sleep as I'd like to
-Looks like I'll be getting my wisdom teeth removed sometime next week. I go in tomorrow to consult with the doctors.
-I wish I lived somewhere closer to Baltimore right now
-I realize that I need people who need me
-Hey, let's go and eat while I still can

Parties:

Okay, I'll admit it... I could use Sunday to recouperate. But hey, let's get the party back on by Monday.

Moses:

Did you know that Val Kilmer was the voice of Moses in The Prince of Egypt... and Michelle Pfeiffer was the voice of his wife? I didn't discover this until watching the end credits of the movie.

Urbana:

Made it home safely, had some fun, learned a few things.

ps. LISTEN to this guy.

Christmas:

This'll probably be my last post from Maryland in 2006, so I'd better make it a good one. Umm, it's past my bed time so it'll also be a quick one.

I'll definitely still be connected in Houston since all of my cousins are techies.

Anyway, merry Christmas. Thank you so much for the gift you gave to me. Don't you know? Your friendship and the relationship I have with you is something that I value over any type of possession. I hope my end of the deal is also worthwhile to you.

More scattered thoughts... Some things make me happy. Snowflakes, chilling, cooking, climbing, ridiculous movies, etc. They make me really happy... but in the grand scheme of things they don't bring me joy. I was thinking of the lines 'Joyful, joyful we adore thee' and 'giver of eternal gladness' today and was hit by the fact that in order to mean those words I must acknowledge the joy that Jesus gives to me. A lot of times I don't, and I try to fill that void with happy things. I wish I didn't. So during this Christmas season I'm going to try and focus in on that.

You know, all of the pretty decorations we put up and the beautiful songs that are sung in church... I think a lot of people do it for their own enjoyment. I sometimes see that attitude as wasteful. But anyway, I am learning to see things differently- where all the majesticness of the Christmas season is to reflect the majesty of God. Yes, Jesus was born in a dirty and lowly place... but what he was to do and what he is doing is majestic worthy of our decorating/vocal/artistic talents.

When I think of majesty (please pardon me for this reference) I think of the end of the third Lord of the Rings movie with the great ceremony and an entire city bowing down to a few short hobbits. Okay, I don't know where I was going with this... so that means it's time to go to bed. Goodnight.

Surrender:

I want to surrender all.

I'm not even at the point where I yearn for Him. My desire to follow and worship are lacking. I am only at the point where I want to yearn.

Self:

bleeeeeh... Mind vomit:

I feel inadequate. On one hand, I wish they would value me on a much more intimate level. On the other, I wish I weren't so gosh darn selfish about getting attention. I'm stuck because I desire vanity- I am only self assured through others. Saying that makes me feel gross and dirty, but that's what I am and admitting it is the first step to change.

Sorry about the lack of specifics. You know what I mean.

Beau:

Pictured: Beau, October of 2004.

I first met this fine young fellow outside of the North Campus Diner on September 15th, 2003 at around 5:50 PM I think. I'm not sure who started the conversation, but we were both early to the first small group and were looking for the leaders to show.

This picture is of Beau on our small group camping trip. He was kind enough to follow me from our freshman SG into our sophomore SG.


I guess he is one of the first persons I met here at college and someone who has always been around for me. I would consider Beau to be one of my most loyal friends, and for this I am thankful.









So as the end of this semester marks the end of an era, may a new one begin. Long live the adventures of the two people whose names always get mixed up even though they sound nothing alike.

Finals:

Well it's that time of year again. We're all pulling our hair out and trying to remain as disciplined as possible. With finals starting in about 7 hours, I'm a little unsure about how I feel about the next week. Honestly there is not a ton of studying that I need to do and I'm not very worried about my classes. Also, I have the first final slot and one in the almost last slot. So when looking at the density of stress/studying over the whole time period, it's actually very low.

But still, based solely on principle, I am forcing myself to not have any fun... which doesn't make any sense. I should be working hard and playing hard, not working hard and staring off into oblivion the rest of the time. So with that in mind, please call me up to do something fun and random.

Let's see other scattered thoughts:
- I want to try more ethnic foods
- Being around couples drains me
- I need to be around people, though
- I smell bad
- I over analyze things way too much
- It's about time I start getting my priorities in order
- Traveling over break will be really fun but sort of hard to deal with emotionally

Yikes:

I just realized that that was my last IV Christmas Ball. It was a great one for sure, but I'll miss them dearly.

Break:

You only live once and you only go to college once (hopefully). That's why I'm still up. I'm currently amidst a small break in between exams and I'm allowed to blow off some steam without worrying about school. So forget sleep; let's go do something ridiculous.

Christmas:

I'm ready for Christmas to come.

Po-po:

The law hasn't been so agreeable with me lately. A cop pulled me over for cutting off my friend. It wasn't even marginally agressive... I wasn't even speeding. He didn't even give me a warning because I didn't do anything wrong.

While a bunch of us where standing in a parking lot, another cop pulls up and asks us what we're doing. He then proceeds to tell us to "keep out of trouble". I wouldn't be surprised to see that there was another shooting on Knox Road tonight in the Diamondback on Monday.

Then I got a notice today that I got caught by a red light camera in DC. I swear that that light has the shortest yellow I've ever seen. I'm certain the intersection is rigged that way... I am sooo certain.

Right now it would take a lot for law enforcement to redeem itself in my eyes.

Help:

I have a really hard time admitting it, but I need help. I can't do much on my own and my efforts alone are not putting me where I want to be.

Thanksgiving:

Man... food. Two KO's and I'm down for the count. Details later... I've got an early morning tomorrow. In short, I'm super thankful for you if you're reading this. Peace.

Unexpected:

I feel like God has been answering prayers right and left. The funny thing is the results mostly come in unexpected ways, and therefore it is only in hindsight do I realize the providence of it all.

Slump:

I guess I haven't been blogging very much recently. Things have been pretty busy... and by that I mean there have been a lot of fun things to do and I've been doing them. School has been sort of pushed to the side, even though a bunch of midterms are coming up and things are going to start getting crazy. Whatever, I've been enjoying what time I have left here and I don't regret it.

Love:

In small group tonight we took a look at the love passage from 1 Corinthians. You know, the one they always read at weddings. Anyway, it was really easy to take a look at what love is and is not and think of how poorly we emulated those characteristics. It was a lot harder to pick out traits that we would consider we execute well. For me, I think I fail the most at being patient and not being proud. I also think I am pretty decent at always protecting. I would like to think that in the hypothetical situation of someone messing with someone I love, I would step in and lay the smackdown. Hopefully to the point where I get thrown out of whatever establishment this hypothetical situation takes place in. That would be pretty sweet.

Fool:

Some days I feel like such a fool.

If I was in a TV show, my character would be the one everyone yells at through the TV screen telling me to get my act together and do something with my life.

Morning:

I just wanted to note these late hours. I wonder what time I'll get up tomorrow.

Purity:

I desire faith like a child. Then I wouldn't worry so much about things- primarily what I'm doing with my life. When I think too much about it, I feel like I'm moving with no direction and wasting away. Other times, when I'm doing stuff I feel like I've accomplished nothing and wonder if my actions, words, and presence could be completely forgotten by the morning. I wonder a lot about whether or not I'll end up alone. But according to small group, the answer to all of this is to pray. Pray for faith, pray for patience, pray for peace. I can't do this on my own.