Well, I'm back from the beach and life resumes. Thus far every single person I've come in contact with has commented on how tan I am and has pointed out that I will probably get skin cancer. Noobs.
New Jersey was a blast and relaxing. It was neat to live and spend time with people who make me laugh. For some reason, though, the whole trip felt like the end of an era- as if things are now meant to be different. Nothing is different around here. My circumstances have not changed at all. Perhaps that feeling is the motivation for me to move on, move forward. It sounds good in theory, but in reality I remain apprehensive. Recently, for every step forward I've taken two back. Progress has never been my forte and in the past it has always been easier for me to just let things lie where they lay instead of dealing with the issues at hand.
As of late I have been thinking about and tempted by the concept of a new slate. What would it be like if I found a job out in California? I could run away from all the good and bad things in my life and start over... meet new people, present myself however I cared to, discuss only choice parts of my past. Again, sounds great in theory but I know the reality of it can be very hard. Running away is, in most cases, the easier and less correct option. Anyway, there are many things here that I would not trade... even for a new start. While I've given up on many a dream here, I still have a few to chase.
4 comments:
Like you said bert, running is usually the easier path. it's a greater challenge (and i think a greater reward) to love the community and the people who we've known and struggled with. the temptation to run away is easily justified by the nobility and glory of the self-made, independent person, but the reality is that the people we leave are the people that helped make us who we are.
I started peeling. it itches.
I definetly have similar thoughts, often.
there are so many possibilities...so much potential that we posess. I guess I:m trying to focus more on where God specifically may want me to go....haha...sounds so easy. I'll let you know if/when I figure that one out.
You can start over without moving 3000 miles. i've kinda done it at my new job. i haven't really been the seye people from college would know and recognize. but i almost think that if you're being yourself, you can start over but things will ultimately revert back to a similar way they were before.
i was going to blog about almost the same thing, but my day leaves me with literally 30 minutes to be on a computer outside of work because from 5:00am to 11:00pm i really don't have much time to sit at a computer and do what i want, but anyway...
about progress and dealing with issues at hand... i don't know what it is specifically, but i can tell you generally from my experience, if you don't deal with it, it's almost like lying to yourself or being comfortable with letting things sit in one place... every moment you spend not dealing with it is wasting your time, that you never get back. and that's with anything.
come live in baltimore.
i like your guys' input. keep it up.
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