Memories:

I went back in time. I'm so glad blogging exists. I was looking at some online journaling (not in blogger) I did two years ago around this time, and I'm shocked. It seems like back in my freshman year I was doing so much with people and learning so much... even investing directly into peoples' lives and changing the world around me. And it sounds like I did more in a day back then than I now do in a weeks time. I guess I'll post what I wrote back then. Note, the writing style is very different. I guess I was much more animated in my writing.

"This blog is brought to you by the following sponsors: Mozzarella sticks, made fresh and greasy at your local diner. What a day! I blog now (even though the night is young and the day is not over yet) because I'm excited about a lot of things that happened today. Let's start from the very beginning, the very first place to start (Sound of Music reference). I thought today was going to be really sucky. I misread my clock and got out of bed an hour early, which had me pretty ticked. Then I went to math discussion and got my first exam back. I was seriously expecting a depressing grade, but instead I got 1 of 5 A's in two sections. Amazing! Then in engineering, I was able to complete the crossword, get this, all by myself! Amazing again! Physics discussion was more of a 'huh'. There was a fire in the physics building so they had us evacuate, so we spent the entire class watching firemen run in and out of the building. No class is good, but no class the day before the exam is not so good. It's only physics, though. After that, I was apparently able to get my lazy butt down to the CSPAC library to do some research for my music paper. I know, amazing! Unfortunately, I was only able to withstand one hour of research before I got fed up, so I probably will have to make an additional trip sometime before the paper is due. So then, a one hour nap which was very nice, a luxery I wish I indulged in more often. And to top the day of...
IV tonight... I can't put it into words, except I will. The Walt, Mr. Quick himself, gave a testimony/talk during Intermission. Last night he mentioned it, and I knew it would be awesome... but whoa. He talked about the cross and our worth and joy and humility and so much more. I'm still trying to digest it. I think I'll have to put in a reservation for some Walt-time as well to try to verbalize my response. This calls for a long shower so I can extensively contemplate some things. To summarize it up, I would say his testimony was just answered prayers.
And, I had better get to that showering and studying business before it gets too late. Oh yeah, cool convo with Maggie on the way back. Good catching up, and definitely some relationship building. Doh, that brings up another topic.
Let's blog hardcore then. This past Sunday, as I mentioned, I had the chance to talk with Allan. Somehow our conversation led to dating and relationships with girls. I was able to explain my position. I don't think I should push for a dating relationship because it should be done according to God's will. His timeline supercedes my timeline. Though it is something I want, I am obviously not ready for it. I sort of said all this without knowing why. I mean, it sounds good and churchy, right? And then Allan asked me, "What if your girlfriend cheats on you though?" Sort of a random question. But then I realized (and I explained to him) that if God can create the heavens and the earth, and if He knows all things and controls all things, what is one little relationship between a guy and a gal? If it is in His will, wouldn't that be an awesome relationship? I can only imagine. Anyway.
More to the point of the paragraph above the previous, relationships. This is kind of summing up last semester, and a whole lot of talking that Zach and I have done in the past. Walt gave us the challenge (informal, but still there) to view women as sisters, rather than prospects. To get that sisterly relationship requires communication. I want to be able to share similar things that I talk about with the brothers also with the sisters. Makes sense? I don't know what it is, but I've been unable to establish this link with a lot of the girls. Okay, I'm realizing that I don't have this part thought out too well at the moment, so I'll try to come back to it later. (PS- for those of you out there in cyberspace who think I am a n00b luzer, you're welcome to your own opinion... I am who I am). It's shower time."

Yeah, it's quite long so if you just skimmed over it I don't blame you. I remember some of those conversations quite clearly and I can sort of hash out some of the unmentioned thoughts I was having in my head.
These days, I certainly may not accomplish as much, but I definitely have matured. Some of the struggles that I faced back then have been resolved, while others have evolved (in a debatably good and bad way). If I were to go back in time and give a few words of advice to my freshman self, I would say, "Don't worry, you're in for a wild adventure." Because it has been. So many things have happened that I would have never forseen, and I have personally changed to be someone my younger self would not recognize. But it hasn't ended... even these days I crave an adventurous lifestyle where I'm living life alive. I guess I just got to keep in mind that I am who I am. I am who I was created to be.