Bah:

You can't just do that to me and not know.

BS:

Hmm, I'd looove to go to the CP small group... but I just can't... for reasons I shouldn't actually post here.

BS = bible study

Success:

I suppose you could call today a success.

I had a relatively productive day at work. Productive meaning that I keep my hands moving and keep busy doing menial work. Though I did have a good conversation with one of my coworkers so that was pretty neat.

I did a lot of driving today just picking people up and the such. It was really nice, even in rush hour traffic, because I really do enjoy that moving air and the radio blasting (and the singing along). I take pride in not using the AC and saving gas.

I completed building the new computer. It's not for me, but rather it is my little brother's new computer for school. It's a pretty neat machine, and it's a relief that it is pretty much finished.

That was my day. It sounds boring, so I'm not sure whether I should reneg on calling it a success... better finish off before I change my mind.

p.s. I guess Sara is really the only one who reads this, so there

No Fear:

The opposite of fear is not courage, but faith.

I can logically figure this out and argue it, but it's been really difficult for me to know it.

I also realize that self-pity doesn't make much sense.

Random note- I think my favorite part of the work day is the car ride home. It's only a 20 minute drive, but I always roll the windows all the way down and blast the radio. It's fun to sing to and it saves gas money by not running the AC. Seriously.

Outdoors:

Tonight I think I realized that I am more at peace with the outdoor elements than I originally thought. Just a strange thought to have... especially considering that I have gone camping and backpacking, yet the feeling wasn't the same. I'm not sure I even know what I'm getting at. Just random I guess. Oh, and speaking of random... TIDAF 'RNOTM' for me.

Looking Forward:

These days, all I seem to do is look forward to things. Perhaps it is a bit unhealthy because I overlook the present. This weekend is pretty exciting because I get to go to Änna's CrabFest. Also some family is already coming into town. Next week, though, things will be pretty hectic... but the weekend after that- pure insanity. Somewhere in between, my laptop should be coming. In case you haven't heard, I will be able to do crosswords on the screen just as I would with pen and paper. That pretty much tops anything your computer can do, I am certain.

It goes from this:



To this:



To this:



Awesome, no?

Want:

What do you want? What do you desire more than anything in the world?

Can you control these wants and desires? I feel like it is a difficult discipline. I wonder if doing so then takes away from the definition of 'self'. I don't really know how to approach these thoughts in a feasible manner.

Lack:

Not really understanding what it means to be satisfied. I have an extremely hard time being content. Discontent... I hate the feeling.

Work:

Somehow, filing folders for 8 hours in the back room of an office makes me feel like I'm wasting away more so than sitting in front of the computer for 8 hours at home.

My fingers and feet hurt. I don't feel very alive. Maybe for all sorts of reasons.

Wise:

A wise young lady once said:
"i dont want to hold back because of fear"

Fortitude:

It's a word that nobody uses... or so it seems. But I was watching Gladiator and this word popped up.

Fortitude- n. Strength of mind that allows one to endure pain or adversity with courage.
(courtesy of dictionary.com)

Isn't that amazing? What a characteristic to excel in. Indeed, a virtue to admire. I want to use this word more often.

Today I watched The Hulk and The Terminal. Yeah, Hulk was a terrible movie. Everybody said they didn't like The Terminal, but I thought it was pretty good. Of course, not in the sense of its realism or dramatic plot twists, but rather... it was 'cutesy' as some might say. Definitely not a thinking movie. Just enjoyable. Whatever.

I need a hair cut.

Memories:

Topic sentence: I find that I have few of them. For some reason, a lot of group-chill conversations seem drift into talk about childhood memories. It's not uncommon for someone to chime in with a, "one time when I was 10..." and tell about some obnoxious or hilarious thing that happened to them. I suppose it's logical. It is life experience, and the majority of our life experience (that is, for my peers) has been in our childhood. I digress.
I don't think I have a lot of childhood memories, or rather, I observe that I have fewer childhood stories to tell. Either I have a bad memory or I had a boring childhood. Probably both, actually. But seriously, the latter seems only true. Sad, I know.
I never did anything physically daring. I wasn't (and still am not) apt at doing anything spectacular- like riding a bike off a huge jump or wrestling on a trampoline. Which leads me to another point. I never had any mischievious tools or was set in mischievious environments. Maybe roller blades and a hockey stick... but even then. Yeah, I didn't get out of the house all that much. I only had a couple of neighborhood friends, but they moved away when I was young. No pets to torture, no crazy fights, no school gang, etc...
Sounds somewhat depressing, eh? Well, that just means most of my energies and efforts when I was younger went into other things. What exactly, though, is hard to point out. I'll have to think on that more. But whatever they/that may be, I am who I am today as a result... and it ain't all that bad, right? Hah, that's enough out of me.

Change:

I don't know about the red. It's a little bit too angry for me.

Notation:

http://www.wam.umd.edu/~bertchee (nothing here really)
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=bertronium
The purpose of this blog thus far is to redirect you to my Xanga, but feel free to leave comments here if you're lazy.