222:

Post number 222.

How do you wait for Heaven?
And who has that much time?
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know that you were born to fly?
- Sara Evans

(insert illustration)

Win:

Woke up pretty early to do the usual in DC. Got back, read outside and played bocci ball with Ryan and Liz, mowed the lawn, and then I had to drive back home. I realized that I didn't have a pair of black dress shoes here so I drove all the way home, picked up a few things, waited around for a while since there was a bad accident on 495, and then drove back. Somewhat uneventful day.

Tomorrow starts at 4:20 am, with us out the door before 5:10. It's gonna be an early one. Church after the sunrise service, back here for a nap, and then climbing at the ORC wall. Pretty packed.

Let's play a game. I don't care what game it is, I already win. Because....

Booyah. Please excuse my overconfidence.

Labyrinth:

Today's labyrinth wasn't quite my cup of tea. I realized that as far as meditation goes, I am hyper-sensitive to sound and pretty sensitive to visual stimuli. By that I mean that I reflect best in silence since I can easily become distracted when I focus on the pitch, timbre, or rhythmic patterns of other sounds. And this includes not just music. I could be listening to a recording of a vacuum cleaner and still be tempted to try and understand the audile qualities of the sound. So the accented guiding voice wasn't really conducive for me. And the trancey music... I'll just leave that one alone. Silence, it's the way to go.

I also was hoping something more old schoolish. I think it would be neat to spend a couple of days journeying through an underground dungeon maze. I'd take a medium sized piece of cloth and turn it into a travelling satchel, just as they did in the old days.

Also of note, today I had a strange... something in between a dream and a vision. Jayme was dressed up in a pretty hardcore, stealthy geddup and had a high caliber sniper rifle... slightly older with a wood stock. She fires and the shot whizzes by just left of my head. Naturally I duck down, but then I know that I'm pinned and if I try to find better cover or run for help I'd be taken out. And that's all I got. What does it mean? Isn't that strange? I probably should avoid getting on her bad side for a while.

That's enough randomness for now. You know the rest.

Vent:

The past two days have proven to be more stressful than I had hoped. Though when I think back on what I did throughout the past 48 hours, it doesn't seem that bad. Oh well, the point is that they're now over. I was really looking forward to doing something exciting, yet relaxing this evening to vent but nothing seemed to pop up. So instead I cleaned and did laundry. Not exactly what I had in mind, but I am glad that my sheets are finally clean now that the washer is fixed. So tomorrow better be spectacular or else I'm going to be pretty disappointed.

Oh yeah, I also pulled out MD t-shirts to see what might work well. I think I'm actually short on red, much to my surprise. Somehow I'm seeing black overpower all the other colors. So if you have any extra red MD t-shirts just lying around, send 'em my way.

Sonrise:

Come with?
6:30 Sunrise Service, Lincoln Memorial Steps

Gymkana:

Gymkana is sick. And I mean sick in that cool, awesome sort of way. Everybody loves the exhibition that they put on during half-time shows, especially the ring of fire part. But the homeshow definitely took things to a whole new level.

You know how towards the end of the jumping they save the highest and most intricate jumps for last? You then immediately know who are the elite gymnasts, and that they're going to do something spectacular. Steve was that person for almost all of the men's events. I've gotta grab the videos from Andy and put them up on Google video... they're ridiculous! Basically he was just showing off some amazing feats of strength. I bet he was still feeding off of the amazing powers given to him through the Jesus-sash.

At the beginning of the show, right before they started doing the vaulting and the ring of fire, Andy leans over and says, "I've got a feeling that someone's going to be hospitalized." And boy was he right. One girl went over and landed wrong. She wasn't moving... at all. And the worse part- nobody stopped! Two or three more jumpers vaulted over and just landed on this (what we all presumed to be) dead girl... not even the spotters bothered to move her until at least three vaulters had gone over. They carried her off and she was still not moving. Then not a minute later, another girl went over, landed wrong, and laid on the mat not moving. This time they were a little better at clearing her out of the way, but didn't carry off her limp body until a few more jumpers had gone over. Obviously, both were rushed to the hospital. The first girl bit through her lip, and also had a concussion, hence why she was completely knocked out. The second injury was a torn ACL, which also sucks majorly considering the lasting impact of that sort of damage. What a craaaaazy show. Either time, we could have just witnessed one of those girls dying right in front of us... because it certainly seemed like it.

The beginning definitely was a reality check; those acts are actually really, really dangerous. But I guess such are the risks of promoting a drug free life style. I don't see myself doing Gymkana anytime soon, but we were fairly inspired to try and do fun and absurd things on our own. I'll one up them by learning to do a standing back flip... while my shoes are on fire. That's definitely something you can't do while stoned.

Rocked:

Yup, I'm pretty thoroughly rocked. Also, my stomach is sore from all the sugar.

Proud:

I really am geniunely proud of them. No, I nor anyone I know can claim to being a diehard women's basketball fan prior to their successes in the tournament, but I can still be proud. They definitely EARNED everyone's respect. We as a school have ignored them, and instead have always put the limelight on the men's team... even when they're being embarassing. Tonight the Terps showed skill, but really what's taken them all the way to the top is perseverance. And for that, I regard them as heroes.

Season:

It's that time of year again- when the weather is finally permitting of awesome outdoor activities; mainly climbing, but also a good dose of bocce ball and freeze tag. It's time to start getting in shape so that I don't get out run and shown up by anymore 11 year olds.

One of the first things you learn in climbing is to hang with your arms fully extended if you can (called a dead arm hang). If you have no where to put your feet then this applies even more so. A person dead hanging on a hold will last about three times longer than a person with bent arms, pulling their head above their hands. Note, the drawing shows a person in a bent arm hang, but naturally he has no where else to go so it is not considered bad form.

Now that you have that tidbit of information, it's time for you to start climbing. The wall is open every Sunday and Tuesday from 4-8 pm. No skill required... just the simple desire to be more like Jeff Schuch.

Mirror:

I have never met an opponent as formidible as Myself. When I wrestle with him I cannot seem to win or lose because I am no better or worse than him... instead I only get worn. I need someone else on my team.

Stories:

It's been rather quiet around here. Too quiet. So I'm going to call you out. Tell a random story of something that happened three, four, or five years ago in your life. C'mon... it's fun!

My freshman year, I was really starting to get into Third Day. I had picked up a couple of their albums and watched their Offerings tour on DVD. Some time in the spring, I found out that they were going to be playing in the Patriot Center on George Mason's campus. So naturally, I picked up a ticket... a general admission floor ticket. The concert fell on a Sunday and I had my parents drop me off after church. But get this- me, being the responsible person I am, forgot to bring my ticket with me. I called Zach, since he was coming to the concert as well, and he picked it up from my room. The plan was that he'd find me in line and hand it off. So I got there three hours early, a product of going right after church but also so I would get an awesome spot. I was sort of the first person there; there were four youngish (just graduating from college) people who found the entrance right at the same time I did. We sat and talked about being TD fans and chit chatted about our backgrounds and the such. We passed the time playing a few games and actually doing some arts and crafts... and watching the line grow behind us as the 7:00 opening approached. Of course, I was freaking out... sitting at the front of the line with no ticket to get in. The doors opened and Zach was still on the way. As my four new friends walked in they told me they'd try and save me a spot, but I wasn't really understanding much while watching the entire crowd go past me. I was about to cry.
So I waited and watched until around 7:30, Zach delivers with my ticket and we enter onto the floor at the back of the crowd. I listened to the openers with not much interest, trying to see if I could see any of those four people towards the front. We were simply too far away and there were too many people in front of us. Now, I don't believe in butting in line and I'll probably be the last person you'd see making any sort of confrontational move for my own advantage. But I put on my brave face and sucked it up. I deserved a better spot. As they were setting up for Third Day, I slank my way towards the front with minimal problem. Soon, I spotted my people... indeed they had saved a spot for me... on the rail! That's right, the very front and center spot. I was so amazed... I still am. I enjoyed the best concert of my life that night. Third Day put on a spectacular show and then led us in worship. So thank you Dave, Leslie, Sam and Beth if you're somewhere out there in cyberspace. Ya'll are amazing people who I'll never forget.

That's my story. Your turn.

Dolls:

I love, love, love, LOVE this musical. Currently watching Guys and Dolls on DVD. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one production version that exists. Good ole Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando. It's one of those movies I could watch (or soundtracks I could listen to) and never get tired of... sort of like Rent for some people *ahem*.

I think I'm going to make my goal of one day playing in the pit for a Guys and Dolls production official by putting it on my 43things. Here's my favorite song that I'd love to play some day:

Your eyes are the eyes of a woman in love,
and oh, how they give you away.
Why try to deny you're a woman in love?
When I know very well what I say.
I say no moon in the sky ever lent such a glow,
some flame deep within made them shine.
Those eyes are the eyes of a woman in love,
and may they gaze ever more into mine,
Crazily gaze evermore into mine.

The melody is absolutely beautiful. Note, though, it was specifically written into the movie version, and hence is not performed in most stage productions. Wouldn't it be great to randomly break out in song? What about an old fashion dance sequence?

Unproductive:

I have no excuses. I'm a lazy, good-for-nothing waste of spring break space. Next year I am planning the most spectacular extravaganza you have ever caught wind of and you're invited. So... got any ideas on what we're doing?

Gaze:

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you.

Irreparable:

The word has been stuck in my head all day.

The doctor said there's nothing that can be done. The damage is permanent...

Break:

I can already tell... I'm going to be incredibly bored. Unless, I find things to do.

Planned:
Bonfire at Mason's
Lunch with Esther

Anyone interested in going into DC to see the blossoms? Or hit up the Inner Harbor? An evening at Marlbrough... Guess Who? tournament? Rock climbing? What are good days to do these things?

Rich:

Surrounded by gold and silver,
I found the fourteen precious jewels.
But the diamond stole me,
And I didn't want to be rich.

Deep thought of the night: some songs mean so much more when it's warm outside. Oh Maryland, you tease.

Butterfly:

I can't color the world myself.

I don't want to do it on my own.

Confession:

I used to make up words that sounded magical, sounds that no one else in the history of the world could have thought to utter... all in hopes that I would discover a magic spell. I was reading a lot of fiction back then.

Warm:

This weather just makes me so happy!

All I wanted to do all day was just go climbing. Oh man, like you wouldn't believe.

Wings:

Oh if only I could fly.

I saw the X-men 3 trailer again tonight and was outright envious of Angel's wings. Before Angel turns evil (in the comic and cartoon series) and becomes Archangel, he has a pair of glorious feathered wings. Now, the ability to fly and have wings is not the best power to have in the Marvel world. Seriously, there are a lot of more powerful and useful mutant powers out there to choose from, but wings would just be straight up enjoyable. Soaring high in the sky, how cool. Oh, plus they look really neat and automatically give an aura of majesty.

This is the sort of delusional dreaming I start doing due to sleep deprivation.

Ago:

Two years and two days ago. From reading my blog, I realize that day to be a pretty big milestone in my life. It was the first time I got to sit down with Ronny for a dinner date. My college experience would be nothing like what it is today had I not taken him out to eat at Adele's that Wednesday evening. I can even recall bits of the wisdom that he instilled in me through the conversation we had over that delicious meal. Since then, I have learned more life lessons from him than I can count. It's pretty amazing when I think about it... I couldn't ask for more in a Brother. I miss those days when everything seemed new, but I can appreciate the distance I've covered in the time passed. I think that's enough flashbacking for now.

Code:

Where would you see:
3.8 Lpf/1.0 gpf
? I think it's sort of amusing.

Lovely:

I'm not an insulter.

I had dinner with Dede today. He's so fresh. And such a zombie. I'm going to turn that into a compliment... you'll see one day... everyone will be using it.

(I can't find any sign language translations for the word 'zombie', unfortuntately.)

Unfound:

Lord, help my unbelief.

Danger:

The dangers of being an engineering student. The best part is that it all happened around 3 am Saturday morning.

Limb:

Taking that risk, climbing out on the tree limb.


I'm very much looking forward to the Cherry Blossom Festival. I like DC and walking around the capital area on a nice spring day. The cold is starting to get pretty old, especially since all the fun things to do in the cold have already passed- play in the snow, have a bonfire, go skiing, freeze to death... haha not kidding. It's time for the warm, sun bathing days... those conducive to frolicking and cookouts. Cookouts! I wanna have one ASAP.

So speaking of 'days to come', Habakkuk was a neat study to do at retreat. As with most OT minor prophets, some of the ideas and ongoings were hard to swallow. But in the end, God's sovereignty always prevails. Like Habakkuk, I still am unsure about how the injustices going on and the questions I have about my future will be resolved. I found myself looking at my wrist a lot and relating application questions back to NO. Even though, I want to be in that posture of rejoicing in the present... not regretting the past or dreaming about the future. It's fun to do either and throw myself a pity party or hurt myself by rooting myself in my own expectations. Instead, I want trust.

But anyway, cookout? Right now I'm dreaming of grilled shrimp skewers. If we have anything, it'll probably end up being burgers and hotdogs. What else would be tasty and relatively easy? Too bad it's not crabfest season, otherwise there'd be one here tomorrow.

Huh-er:

Now that was an adventure!

Things I learned about myself tonight, through "meditative skiing"-

First, skiing is far from meditative... at least for me. It was so intense.

There are not too many memories that I can recall where I have been genuinely terrified. Tonight puts another notch on that arrow. Usually I'm not really scared of heights or falling, but tumbling or running into something just made me not want to challenge myself on the slopes.

In any system, I am automatically awkward. Example, when I was getting onto the ski lift I started to move forward to catch the next seat, but the operator told me to wait. At that point it was too late and I stopped at the worst possible moment. Basically, I was destroyed by the ski lift. Maybe I just have no common sense. Maybe I have no confidence in myself, so I trust too much on guidance from the system administrators. Whatever it is, there's a high probability of me embarassing myself in a public place where I'm unfamiliar with what's going on.

In the end, I love adventure. It can be scary, very dangerous, and embarassing. So what? I find myself mostly unhurt right now, and I've gained a few good stories and some memories of good company. I like doing things.

Lastly, Jayme is absolutely psycho. In that good, hilarious sort of way. I'm too tired right now, so you'll have to ask about the full story. Good night.

Huh:

A very *sigh*-ish type of day. I should be sleeping.

Curling:

Curling!

Memories:

I went back in time. I'm so glad blogging exists. I was looking at some online journaling (not in blogger) I did two years ago around this time, and I'm shocked. It seems like back in my freshman year I was doing so much with people and learning so much... even investing directly into peoples' lives and changing the world around me. And it sounds like I did more in a day back then than I now do in a weeks time. I guess I'll post what I wrote back then. Note, the writing style is very different. I guess I was much more animated in my writing.

"This blog is brought to you by the following sponsors: Mozzarella sticks, made fresh and greasy at your local diner. What a day! I blog now (even though the night is young and the day is not over yet) because I'm excited about a lot of things that happened today. Let's start from the very beginning, the very first place to start (Sound of Music reference). I thought today was going to be really sucky. I misread my clock and got out of bed an hour early, which had me pretty ticked. Then I went to math discussion and got my first exam back. I was seriously expecting a depressing grade, but instead I got 1 of 5 A's in two sections. Amazing! Then in engineering, I was able to complete the crossword, get this, all by myself! Amazing again! Physics discussion was more of a 'huh'. There was a fire in the physics building so they had us evacuate, so we spent the entire class watching firemen run in and out of the building. No class is good, but no class the day before the exam is not so good. It's only physics, though. After that, I was apparently able to get my lazy butt down to the CSPAC library to do some research for my music paper. I know, amazing! Unfortunately, I was only able to withstand one hour of research before I got fed up, so I probably will have to make an additional trip sometime before the paper is due. So then, a one hour nap which was very nice, a luxery I wish I indulged in more often. And to top the day of...
IV tonight... I can't put it into words, except I will. The Walt, Mr. Quick himself, gave a testimony/talk during Intermission. Last night he mentioned it, and I knew it would be awesome... but whoa. He talked about the cross and our worth and joy and humility and so much more. I'm still trying to digest it. I think I'll have to put in a reservation for some Walt-time as well to try to verbalize my response. This calls for a long shower so I can extensively contemplate some things. To summarize it up, I would say his testimony was just answered prayers.
And, I had better get to that showering and studying business before it gets too late. Oh yeah, cool convo with Maggie on the way back. Good catching up, and definitely some relationship building. Doh, that brings up another topic.
Let's blog hardcore then. This past Sunday, as I mentioned, I had the chance to talk with Allan. Somehow our conversation led to dating and relationships with girls. I was able to explain my position. I don't think I should push for a dating relationship because it should be done according to God's will. His timeline supercedes my timeline. Though it is something I want, I am obviously not ready for it. I sort of said all this without knowing why. I mean, it sounds good and churchy, right? And then Allan asked me, "What if your girlfriend cheats on you though?" Sort of a random question. But then I realized (and I explained to him) that if God can create the heavens and the earth, and if He knows all things and controls all things, what is one little relationship between a guy and a gal? If it is in His will, wouldn't that be an awesome relationship? I can only imagine. Anyway.
More to the point of the paragraph above the previous, relationships. This is kind of summing up last semester, and a whole lot of talking that Zach and I have done in the past. Walt gave us the challenge (informal, but still there) to view women as sisters, rather than prospects. To get that sisterly relationship requires communication. I want to be able to share similar things that I talk about with the brothers also with the sisters. Makes sense? I don't know what it is, but I've been unable to establish this link with a lot of the girls. Okay, I'm realizing that I don't have this part thought out too well at the moment, so I'll try to come back to it later. (PS- for those of you out there in cyberspace who think I am a n00b luzer, you're welcome to your own opinion... I am who I am). It's shower time."

Yeah, it's quite long so if you just skimmed over it I don't blame you. I remember some of those conversations quite clearly and I can sort of hash out some of the unmentioned thoughts I was having in my head.
These days, I certainly may not accomplish as much, but I definitely have matured. Some of the struggles that I faced back then have been resolved, while others have evolved (in a debatably good and bad way). If I were to go back in time and give a few words of advice to my freshman self, I would say, "Don't worry, you're in for a wild adventure." Because it has been. So many things have happened that I would have never forseen, and I have personally changed to be someone my younger self would not recognize. But it hasn't ended... even these days I crave an adventurous lifestyle where I'm living life alive. I guess I just got to keep in mind that I am who I am. I am who I was created to be.

Cares:

Thanks PtSSB.

I cast all my cares upon You
I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet
And anytime I don't know what to do
I will cast all my cares upon You

a little something to sing along with.

Times:

It's not quite there.

Rolling:

"She stole it
Painted it beautiful
And didn't even know"

I just spent the past fifteen minutes trying to think of the "huh" of the day. I guess I don't have one. You can't force these sort of things. Lows: definitely being totally absent minded and completely forgetting about Juke Joint tonight. And on the same note, also finding out yesterday that GHH had already passed. Dang it. If I were filling out an eHarmony profile right now, I'd knock my organization and planning capabilities way down. High: probably the nice weather.

Tomorrow holds a chill morning, classes, some time in the chapel, interview with Julie, and then possibly going out for Kristal's birthday. It should be a good one.

Pockets:

What a beautiful day today. The only downer was that the chapel was locked up. Watched a lot of Olympic Curling and caught a few wipeouts in skiing and skating. I love pockets. You can put all sorts of things in them.

Erased:

It doesn't take much to de-exist. As a matter of fact, it takes about 20 minutes. Move my bed under the staircase, move my closet into Jeff's, shift around some items, insert a couch from the living room and viola! My room is not a living space. I dare the fire inspector to try and put my life back together.

These sort of things (and by that I mean doing some kind of inventory) get me thinking. I really don't have a lot of stuff. I do pride myself in that... and that's why I was the best nominee for the erasure. Stuff... in the end it just means so little. What if I had to live off of the land? I mean, if I had no home and no possessions, would I be provided for? I think God has answered me with a resounding yes. And I am so thankful. BBB. But there's much much more work to be done on my heart and mind in terms of trusting Him.

Passion does not come without sacrifice. Sacrifice does not come without love.

Valentines:

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

No, I'm not bitter... just nostalgic. Things used to be simple on Valentines Day. All I had to do was go to CVS or some other store in the mall with my mom to buy a big packet of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Valentines for my class and copy names from the class list onto the cards. Then there was just throwing them in envelopes, writing the person's name on the outside again, and finally making sure to wear a red shirt. Everybody got the same amount of love from everybody else (except for the teacher, who got the serious, big 'teacher cards' that also come in the pack). But nowadays, saying the right or wrong thing at the right or wrong time could mean anything to somebody. Relationships seem much more complicated.

I've come to the realization, though, that I don't really care. Not to be apathetic or anything, but right thing to do is to be true to myself. Whoa, cliche. 'Just listen to your heart. That's what I do.' Thanks Napoleon. If I am not honest with myself, how can I be honest with God? Or my friends? Or the random stranger who strikes up a conversation? It's a simple lesson that bares a strong challenge. So on this Valentines Day:
May my words hold only truth
May I care for those I love
May I love with no cares

Happy Valentines Day! And in the wise words of my mom, "Don't forget to give your teacher a hug."

MIA:

Missing!

3 inch red Swiss Army Knife.
Not seen in the past 24 hours.
Please come home knife.
I feel useless without you.

Match:

Here's what eHarmony has to say (the whole analysis). If you know this person, send her my way. Skip down for the summary if you don't feel like reading any of this.

Kindness: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who wants to be there for you when you need her. She will try to be thoughtful to you, even if she doesn't always know exactly what you want. She'll be respectful and generally won't demand more from you than you are willing to give. Communication: Your ideal companion is a woman who is willing to talk about herself, but doesn't feel the need to do so constantly. When she meets new people, she connects easily and can talk at length. At other times, she might run out of things to say if the dialogue isn't flowing. She thinks it's important for people to talk openly and honestly with each other but might need occasional prodding to open up.
Character: Your ideal mate isn't going to let other people's misfortunes get her down. Yes, homeless people need help and charities do lots of good work, but that's not necessarily anything that concerns her. She takes care of herself and won't feel the need to try and solve all your problems. Your relationship will be based more on mutual respect than a need for emotional support.
Autonomy: You will be best matched with someone who wants to know all of the important things about your past. She'll be equally interested in living in the present and planning a future. She won't need to know every detail about your life or every thought that crosses your mind. She's the kind of person who sees herself as part of a couple but still maintains her independence and identity.
Vitality and Security: You will be most compatible with a woman is comfortable with a future that's somewhat undefined. She's self-reliant and isn't looking for emotional support. Friends see her as someone who isn't looking to be rescued; she can take care of herself. She generally focuses on short-term goals rather than things that are years down the road.
Conflict Resolution: You'll be happiest with a woman who tries to avoid conflict altogether. When she does have a disagreement, she tries to keep the peace instead of adding fuel to the fire. Resolving the argument is generally more important to her than being right, but she will stand up for herself.
Adaptability: Your ideal mate is generally good at dealing with change, whether it's a new position at work or a family crisis. When faced with a challenge, she generally tries to find the happy medium. She stands firm on things that are important to her but can be flexible when necessary.
Humor: Your ideal mate is the kind of woman who is funny and interesting. Sometimes, she likes telling jokes, making people laugh with things like one-liners or satirical observations about friends and family. But she doesn't need to be a constant one-woman show.
Emotional Energy: You'll be happiest with someone who understands that you sometimes need down-time to recharge. She likes being a spectator, whether it's watching sports or just people-watching at an airport. She's not the kind of person who always has a list of things she wants to accomplish in a day.
Romantic Passion: Your ideal mate is a woman who likes to focus on the things of substance in a relationship, not on mushy feelings. She wants to spend time with her partner, but that could just as easily mean taking a hike as fixing a romantic dinner. She might think things like Valentine's Day are somewhat contrived romantic situations, which is probably a relief to someone like you.
Dominance: You are best suited to someone who doesn't view life as a competition. She enjoys a game for the sake of playing, rather than needing a victory. Her friends describe her as pretty laid-back and say she rarely if ever gets competitive about her private life or work.
Sociability: You'll be happiest with a woman who likes to spend time with old friends and make new ones. She might not always be the first to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but she is rarely tongue-tied once the conversation is underway. At parties, she's the type of person who isn't afraid to venture outside her group of friends.
Intellect: Your ideal mate is quick-witted without being over-intellectual or boring. She likes to think of herself as comfortably in the middle between people who think too much and others don't think at all. She will appreciate your intelligence, but she isn't an intellectual snob.
Artistic Passion: You are best suited to the kind of woman who sometimes likes to express herself creatively. She has an artistic streak, but she probably doesn't think of herself as a die-hard artiste.
Curiosity: You will be well matched with a woman who doesn't need to ferret out information that has no bearing on her day-to-day life. In the long run, you will find it difficult to be with someone who places enormous value on random bits of knowledge gathered just for the sake of knowing more than everyone else. She would generally rather be doing than learning about something.
Sexual Passion: You'll be most fulfilled by the kind of woman who believes sex is an important part of a great relationship - but not the only part. She is looking for physical chemistry with a man, the kind of spark that comes from genuine romantic attraction. However, she also appreciates that there is more to a "real relationship" than sex.
Appearance: You are most compatible with a woman who wants to look good but doesn't obsess over it. She will appreciate the time and effort you put into your appearance and be happy with the end result. Ultimately, however, she is more concerned with who you are than what you look like.
Physical Energy: You are best suited to someone who likes to stay active but also enjoys spending quiet time at home. She makes staying healthy and exercising a normal part of her life, but she also enjoys kicking back and relaxing when the time is right.
Education: Your ideal mate is accomplished academically, but she doesn't brag about it. During her school years, she was the type of person who balanced studying with things like extracurricular activities or spending time with friends. She wants a partner who's her intellectual equal, but she can also appreciate other things about him.
Industry: You are best suited to someone who appreciates rest and relaxation. She doesn't measure her self-worth by how much she can accomplish each day. She's comfortable with who she is and what she has.
Ambition: You will be happiest with a woman who isn't obsessed with things like career advancement, money and power. She is content with her current status in life. She cares about her performance professionally and wants to be popular socially, but she isn't comparing herself to everyone around her.
Organization: Your ideal mate is the type of person who keeps her home neat and clean, without being obsessive about it. She likes to be structured at home, and make sure everything has its place. But she won't look down on you if you kick off your shoes and don't straighten them at the door. She's good at creating a home that's comfortable and welcoming, the perfect place to relax.
Self Concept: Your ideal match is someone who is self-assured and agreeable. She believes in herself, so she is willing to take the occasional risk. She wants to fit in but doesn't feel the need to change in order to do so. Her friends most likely describe her as someone who's secure.
Mood Management: You are most compatible with someone who avoids taking bad moods out on others. She knows that everyone has their moody days, so she won't overreact when you're irritable. When she's in a foul mood, she'll usually make sure she doesn't take it out on others.
Emotional Status: You are best suited to a woman who is generally happy and hopeful for the future. There are things in her life she'd like to improve, but she generally has faith that she'll attain her goals. She's not the type of person to overreact when she has a problem. Friends see her as someone who tries to focus on the positive.
Obstreperousness: Your ideal mate generally follows the adage: If you can't say something nice, it's better not to say anything at all. She may have strong beliefs, but she usually avoids stating them strongly if it would offend others. She is rarely argumentative.
Anger Management: You will be happiest with a woman who controls her temper. Generally speaking, she has a long fuse. When she does get mad, she doesn't take it out on others or blame them for her frustration.
Traditionalism: You'll be happiest with a woman who is conservative morally. Her beliefs influence most aspects of her life. She generally believes people should strive to do what's right in every situation. She wants to find a man who shares her values and beliefs about things like religion, country and family.
Spirituality: Your ideal mate's spiritual beliefs are the foundation of her character. She sets aside time for things like reading the scriptures, praying or seeking a higher guidance for her life. She wants to find a man who shares her beliefs.
Family Goals: Your ideal mate shares you desires to start a new family and experience the joys of parenthood. She loves kids and expects that they will play a central role in her life. Altruism: Your ideal mate is someone who cares about the needy. She believes society is dependent on everyone to solve problems, so she turns her convictions into action. Perhaps she volunteers at the local soup kitchen or organizes a recycling or clothing drive. She's known for her willingness to do whatever she can to assist others.
Family Background: Your ideal mate will probably understand if your relationship with your family is distant, uninvolved or filled with conflict. Her own family relationships are sometimes marked by tension, miscommunication or anger, but she has learned to adapt.

She has a strong intellect.
She likes to keep abreast of what's happening in the world.
She is very interested in knowing and learning about certain things.S
She likes to keep a healthy balance between "using her head" and "using her heart."
She enjoys telling or laughing at jokes sometimes.
She sometimes enjoys sharing a great joke or humorous movie with friends.
She generally feels that she has a lot to offer the right person.
She generally takes the time to stay in touch and maintain friendships.
It will be important that she incorporate faith and spirituality into her relationship.
It is very important to her to be part of a religious community.
She has some strong, traditional views.
Being passive or failing to do her part is unacceptable to her.

I'm almost certain that some part of this profile has changed. There are some distinct characteristics that I remember reading on the summary page that are not there anymore. Anyways, it's not too far off. There are parts that I really don't agree with at all. But hey, it's a free personality report.

Nocturnal:

This is the second night/morning in a row that I've stayed up way too late to watch a movie. Narnia was pretty fun since the freshmen kept laughing at every single quirk in the movie. I cracked up when the dwarf servant got shot... I didn't catch the amazingness of those two seconds the first time watching. Then tonight there was the chick flick and baseball fan hybrid movie- Fever Pitch. Pretty cheesy as expected. I took issue with the fact that they don't really solve anything by the end of the movie, but seem to just end up right where they started. But parts of the movie, in combination with talking to Anne last night, make me kind of want to be a teacher. Kids are cool people.

I probably need to go to sleep. And also not be so lazy during the day. And stop being such a downer. Poor Terps. We'll get 'em next year.

Nothing:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Did you know that love is beautiful? It's attractive. It is passionate.

Befuddled:

DYGI? IASWFY.

Lazy:

What a lazy Saturday. I woke up at 12:30 and did absolutely nothing until 8...

The people at the skate rentals booth gave out prizes! You had to give them your shoes to get a pair of skates, so they put maybe three or four prize packs in random pairs of shoes. Guess what was in it? A Testudo tattoo! Oh... and also four tickets to the Maryland Women's Basketball game today at noon. It's sort of sad. I feel really bad for the Women's team since they're actually good and get no attention or support. But let's face it... those tickets aren't worth anything to me or to anybody I can think of.

Testudo on ice! It should be a show or production that the school puts on. But yeah, Testudo was at the ice rink tonight hanging out with us. He rode on the zamboni and threw t-shirts at the crowd. Victor and I wondered if he had specialized padding on his feet to keep him from slipping as he walked around on the ice. Then we realized that it's pretty sad that Testudo, or rather the person who was in the suit, was at Herbert Wells Ice Ring on a Saturday night. I hope he was getting paid.

View:

Life really isn't that blurry. If you/I just focus on the big picture, it's pretty easy to understand the image.

I wish I could read peoples' minds. Things would probably be so much more simple.

Cold:

Don't you shiver?

Morning:

Oh snap!!

On the ride in this morning Jeff and I witnessed a guy on his bike totally wipe out. Actually, it's more like he got hit by a car. He was writhing on the ground for a bit, then got up, shook it off, locked up his bike, shook the driver's hand, and walked away. For a second there I was freaked out, but it looked like he didn't break anything. This is the second time I've seen this happen. I don't think I'll be riding my bike into school anytime soon.

Premonition:

I didn't realize this until just now. During small group tonight I only said one word...

"die"

Yup, that's it. Other random things from today... I practiced drawing straight lines, we found Mark, and lastly a strange 'premonition'. Earlier in the afternoon I remembered distinctly a few words that Tiffany passed onto me about David and his Psalms. No leading conversation or even a connecting train of thought. I just remembered it. Then I come home late to find a beautiful note from her on my desk. Gotta add ESP to my list of skills. Someone managed to infiltrate and get it on my desk. I'm a little concerned about the security of my room now. I thought I was the only one who was sneaky around here!

p.s. Mark is listening to the Top Gun sound track. And speaking of Tiff, Ronny has forever ruined the song 'Take My Breath Away' for me. Sorry.

Ouuuch:

Holy cow! That was the most intense hangboard workout ever. Whoever made that up must be absolutely sick. Please note: my arms may not be moveable tomorrow. Don't be offended if I fail to complete a waving motion or give you the dead fish hand shake. This may be the case every week if we (guys in the house) continue to egg each other on like this.

Dog:

Happy New Year!
Gong hei fa choi... now you're supposed to give me a little red envelope with money in it.

Also, slightly updated :)

If:

If you were a musical instrument, what would you be?

What would I be? I've got one in mind already, but I'm curious about what you think.

Company:

It happens to the best of us. I wrote out this whole post on the first day of classes and whatnot, but it managed to get erased with the internet acting a little whacky over here. So what happened the other day? Not much really, as I think back on it. I hope to make the chapel a regular, weekly event this semester. Most people haven't experienced what it's like to sit down for a few hours and feel how intense quietness can be. Missing out, I tell you. Come on by, company would be cool.

Also, I hope Thursday lunch at the SCDH will become a weekly tradition this semester too. Ryan rides me in at 11 and I don't have class until 12:30 so there's sort of a break there. I ran into Kayla, Holly, and Mark today. It made me feel so young eating with the freshmen in the dining hall. Oh the good ole days of Monday lunches...

Home:

It's good to be home again. The boys are, indeed, back in town now. And I guess the girls too... given the girl to guy ratio of tonight's activity. Good times with Apples to Apples. I usually never win at competitive group games. Diana and I tied for first place, smoking everyone else with five whole points each. What a quality game... though it's no Guess Who?, that's for sure.

I think I've begun to pick up an odd habit from NO. Lately, I'll pick up some random/weird and just wear it. Tonight I found a strange hanger-clip contraption that says "Villager" with the subtext "a liz claiborne company" written underneath. It sits fashionably snapped around my right belt loop and I've grown a little fond of it over the past few hours. Maybe this odd fascination originated from the zulu mardi gras beads. Or maybe further back when wearing spaghetti sauce on your work shirt was a fad. Who knows?

Currently listening to, and digging Kings of Convenience's "Winng A Battle, Losing The War". So chiiiillllll.

News:

A billion people died on the news tonight.

Life comes at you fast. Tonight on ABC news there were an uncanny string of stories that caught my attention. I don't usually even watch the news. First, a family of five were shot dead in Baltimore, supposedly by an angry boyfriend. In Columbia, a stray bullet hit a four year old boy in the head, leaving him in critical condition at the time of reporting. Lastly, they showed a short clip of an Black woman from New Orleans getting upset with the missing peoples situation, including her mother. They titled the story 'Raw Emotion'. In light of all the talking and learning about what the Bible has to say about cities, these seem all too relevant. But even so, just like the many other times I've heard this sort of morbid news, I'm still not sure what to do. Right now I mourn. I mourn because of the violence that comes from a network of people being selfish. I mourn because I feel like I know that woman and her missing mom, that she was my neighbor in New Orleans. I mourn because people will see these news stories and come away unsympathetic, and then go to bed and wake up the next morning to continue their daily cycle.

I want to go back. This I know for sure. I've seriously thought about what it would look like to raise funds for another trip, maybe a week... and what it might look like to fundraise for a semester and all the logistics and organizing I'd have to do. Though praying through it thus far seems to point in the 'not yet' direction. I don't know. I do know that I will always miss it. I have a good feeling that someday I'll be back there to leave a little more of my heart down there.

NOLA:

I didn't do the best job of journaling on the trip, but I did take down a few thoughts as those twelve days passed. I'll post up a few reflections while they're still fresh in my mind. Don't expect them all to make sense, and they may not be in chronological order but I'll try my best:

- As soon as we entered a devastated area the van became dead silent
- I was affirmed in my ability to feel and empathize with the sadness, loss, depression, hopelessnss
- I, and perhaps others, wanted to see the destruction and effects of Katrina ("oh, the ninth ward got hit the hardest? I want to see!" and "I want to see a car up in a tree")... makes it a little bit easier to see where the people who go to NO on destruction tours are coming from
- The boys hit the town part one, when we saw the most gutter punks... they're a crazy but kind of cool people. I can see myself being like one of them, oddly.
- Separate guys and girls for a while, but then bring them back together and it's just exciting
- Some boys hit the town part two, Bourbon street this time. Anything you want to see, feel, or hear... it's there. A lot of talent, a lot of sin, a lot of diversity but a lot of separation
- Jonathan (yonder fan.. I'm sorry! It was my first try) is so much more fun when Cheryl's not around, and by that I mean less rational i guess
- Boys have a real talk, I like that
- Shattered Cat and their trees... that was some really fun climbing
- Quiet time, fresh air, porch, swinging bench... so beautiful I couldn't help but smile
- Having to get over that Myron did not hate us
- That horrible work day... oh where was the team?
- There are some mind games we should never play... they'll only end in hurting hearts
- Guess who? Who would of guessed?
- The Newlyweds game, Tiff and I headed up some awesome questions
- MJ's and a pirate... maybe some of the most WTC moments
- Airports and airplanes, prepare to watch us be embarassing
- Our team was/is a body... a demolitioning machine... I may have been like an ear and an elbow... an earbow... or maybe also a little like the teeth since I could cut things... an earboweeth
- Regret is simply not an option
- Best destruction moment, when that entire ceiling came down
- Funniest ending moment, I'm introduced as "And this is Bert, he likes Grothe's too"... I mean, it's not untrue but who says that?

It's now almost midnight and it's certainly almost bedtime. A lot of other life stuff (ie. school logistics and all that catching up jazz) comes at ya fast. Poor Cobert has caught pneumonia. But I hope to never stop sorting memories and reminiscing because the learning and doing must spill over.

Makeover:

Just trying something new. It sort of hurts my eyes so I may not stick with it.

Fatty:

So the cast came off today. The first thing they instructed me to do, and I don't blame them, was to hit the sink and use a lot of soap. Oh and this time, I did keep the cast. Unfortunately my thumb has undergone further atrophy than I had anticipated. The doctor said this condition is perfectly normal and I guess in the back of my mind I kind of knew it would be like this. Oh well, full strength will come in a couple of weeks. My thumb, in fact, has not dwindled down to a toothpick. On the contrary, it's actually fatter than my other thumb. And there's the problem. My once-lean left thumb is so lardy, I can hardly bend it. As I exercize that muscle, it will eventually gain mobility and strength like a normal thumb should have. Until then, I'll just have keep the strain low.

Today (it's 1 AM Friday) is, indeed, a special day:

1. First, it's Änna's birthday. Happy Birthday!

2. My sister comes into town.

3. It is officially (as I have now ordained it) NOLA Packing Day.

4. Tomorrow holds the ultimate slumber party :)

5. Today (well, technically yesterday) was Jeff's birthday. What a cool spiderman... I mean, kid.

My hand still stinks even though I've washed and soaped it raw. I'm gonna have to spray it down with something ;)

Hoo:

Just some updates. Yesterday ended with a ridiculous Orange bowl game. Today I woke up and had lunch with Joel, Esther, and Charley (I don't know his last name). It was loads of fun. After lunch, we walked around the mall a bit. Esther is so funny! Her and sales make a bad mix. That's it; that was the highlight of my day. I love those crazy kids.

Update: holy cow! Some older-looking guy just proposed to his girlfriend on Jeopardy... whaaat? Who does that?

Dozing:

I might have caught up on a little sleep. My flight came in around 11 am and we grabbed lunch at a pretty good Chinese restaurant. I think we got home around 12:30 and I immediately went to sleep. I think I woke up at 8 pm, took a shower, ate a chocolate snack, and then proceded to go back to sleep. Next thing I know, it's 9:30 in the morning. That's close to 20 hours. Let's see, what's new...

Beau has updated his Xanga. First time in a bit.

Jason has apparently cut his hair.

Dana and Änna have an adventure. Änna is also sporting a new sitemeter that is messing up her right-side navigation bar.

Leslie gives a large update on her Xanga.

Jeff IM'ed me to tell me about his new purchace. An Xbox360. Cha-ching! I don't think our house will see sunlight next semester.

Now I'll probably go do a sudoku, unless I can find something more interesting. Brian reminded me, what about late night scrabble?

Blogtastic:

Yeah, I've definitely been on a blogging spree lately. A lot to update, I guess.

And so ends this year's adventure in Houston. And thus ends the 80 degree weather, but will be returning to probably similar weather not a week later. Tomorrow morning I'll be back in MD and I won't know what to do with myself. Maybe clean up a little. Catch up on some sleep. No plans for Wednesday yet. Thursday I get my cast off, finally. Friday I should be packing. And what's going on Saturday? Maybe dinner in EC or something? Perhaps go clubbing through the night? I'm sure there's some havok we could work up.

Lakewood:

Early this morning we decided to go to Lakewood church, just to say that we've gone. In case you haven't heard about it, Lakewood is a mega church in Houston that's one of those churches that broadcasts its services on national television. They now meet in a newly renovated building that used to be the Staples Center (or where the Houston Rockets used to play) so they fit about 16,000 in their "santuary". It's ridiculous.

First, their message is so... de-Jesusfied. It's mostly a feel good message all through out, that basically you will receive good stuff and God will fulfill all that you want. Prosperity gospel at it's finest. They also emphasize how "you are a conquerer" and a "victor" if you believe in God. Some of it just made me sick. But that's just the half of it.

There is so much money put into that place. I don't know about the rocky stream structures that flow down on either side of the stage. Or the stage itself that lights up and actually moves. Or the excessive use of LCD panelling that was only being used for decoration (believe me, I know how much some of that stuff costs). Oh yeah, who could forget the 10 foot rotating golden globe at the back of the stage. Blaah... big churches.

2006:

Happy New Year!

Alright 2006, let's dance.

Food:

Besides video games and not sleeping, I figured out what else has consumed my time here in Houston. We've been watching a lot of Food Network and a lot of Iron Chef. Tonight's special ingredient is Shanghai cabbage with Yaginuma (Hei Chin Rou's head chef coach) vs. Iron Chef Chen.

Update: way to pull through Kenichi.

Hours:

Happy New Years Eve Eve!

My days here have been filled with lots of video gaming, movie watching, and odd-hour sleeping. Actually, not a lot of the last item when I think about it and I've been sleeping in make-shift places so my back has been fairly achy. I could use a good massage right about now.

Driving around Houston reminded me of two years ago. In that summer, my grandmother passed away. It was a pretty difficult time for everyone, and that first Christmas without her was a strange. Anyway, I was reminded of the funeral day because we were driving on 59, which is one of Houston's main highways. It's huge and flat. The gigantic caravan (police escort, seven limousines, and 30 to 40 following cars) and the fact that the police shut down the highway for us (drove ahead and pulled anyone on the road over)... it was the city of Houston paying respect to the amazing woman who definitely impacted the community in huge ways.

More random thoughts. A couple of my cousins, not to mention my sister, have been getting engaged and married. There's been the infusion of a few non-Chee's into our family get togethers. The sad thing is that it's discouraging. I like these infused people, but it's just that they have to undergo such torture to become part of the family. It's mostly my dad's generation's fault, but I guess that's normal. So I guess that's another thing I'll have to add to my list- an iron constitution and the will of a mighty tornado.

Lastly, a real huh: Last night we went to go play some Halo at my cousin's boyfriend's house. We got to play with a few of his random friends. One guy was briefly on my team because he received a phone call into his first game. It was his girlfriend, and we all had the opportunity to listen him argue with her about how he didn't kill her fish when she was away. He did feed them everyday according to him. I don't know, as far as I could gather he did what he was told to do. But at the same time he seemed a tad bit sketchy. I wouldn't trust him with my fish for a week, given what I could tell from those 15 minutes.

Froggy:

Random huh: tonight there was a tiny frog (about one inch in length) on the hood of my family's minivan. No idea where it came from. We were driving out of a Chinese shopping center. We just left it alone and went driving... we do not know where it went.

For a future post- reminiscing/blast from the past in Houston again.

Yesss:

Merry Christmas!

Chickens:

I've heard a lot of weird dinner conversation in my days, but I think today's takes the cake.

My mom and my grandfather (father's side) were talking about their days long ago in China and how they used to be in the chicken business. As a child, my mom would help her dad with various maintainence tasks including injecting chickens with antibiotics and hormones. Anyway, they also talked about how the rooster gonads would be removed, often surgically, to keep them under control. And, as I learned, they are considered a delicacy and sometimes are traditionally fed to brides as a wish for fertility. You apparently cook the chicken gonads in wine. There were other details discussed on this topic, but it's just too weird...

Well, I suppose I wouldn't expect any less.

Warmth:

Tomorrow's forecast- sunny with highs of 62 degrees in the afternoon. It'll be in the low 70's for a good part of next week. This is all in stark contrast to a week ago when the heat was broken and I woke up to a lovely 30 some degree house. Yeah, the 70 degree weather is nice, but it's not quite as enjoyable as it could be. The air is warm because of the humidity, not to mention that Houston is a top ranked pollution city. Whatever... it's certainly better than dying of pneumonia and freezing to death simultaneously.

I thought I'd just rub that all in while my clothes is drying. I've still got to pack before we leave in six hours!

Random thought: wouldn't it be fun to dig a pit? Not just a hole in the ground, but maybe a good pit trap that's like 8 feet deep. Yeah, that'd be neat.

Empty:

14 more hours and I will be free. I plan to sleep 8 of them away. Oh exams.

It seems like everyone's gone already. I miss people.

Four days until Christmas. It's odd. If you were there on that night in the stable, what would you do? What do you think baby Jesus would want you to do? Hah, it's a funny thing to think about, but if you were to be added into the naitivity scene... what would that look like? I hope my cloak wouldn't look like a dress. And I hope they would keep me as an Asian instead of turning me white.

No, but seriously. I would quietly cherish that moment. There exist too many reasons to explain exactly why. However, I do not see myself doing that quiet-cherishing during the next few upcoming days and Christmas day. There's a lot of hustle and bustle and a lot of superficiality floating around. I don't know, I guess I'm caught in a self-created limbo. I don't know what to expect or how exactly to be excited.

I'm also stuck on deciding what position my clay figurine would be in. Would I have one of those neat sheep-herding canes? I'm not really a shepherd, so I guess that wouldn't make sense.

Filthy:

Upon fixing Peter's laptop, Ryan and I stumbled across a little something...

6398?!? Not quite the record, so we didn't have to resort to slightly shotgunning it.

Blast:

As in a blast from the past. This post should be pretty fun. It is, as somewhat requested/inquired about a while back ago, a few photos of me...

I think I'm the one to the left. Not really sure because I would think I would be in the position of where my younger brother is (JP, right) because that would be the better viewing spot and I would have the higher ranking to occupy that viewing location. This is probably in our old church building. Notice the sublimital message in the background. Mmm, IBM.

Third grade, I believe. Hawaiian day. Check out those awesome socks.

I'm on the left with Barney. You can just barely see the cool things in this pic. My awesome socks and the Clinton cutout.

Just looking gosh darn cute. With my awesome socks.

Probably the first day of school in fourth grade. And my awesome socks.

Me, just chillaxin'.

On our front door steps. I'm in the middle, holding one of many lego creations. I have no idea what's in my little brother's mouth.

One, by the driveway flower patch looking awfully... um merry. Note, awesome socks. Two, that's my self portrait painting. It was actually exhibited in a Smithsonian museum. I think it was the Hirschhorn? I should put that on my resume.

My sister, my cousin (also pictured previously), me and my older brother. We always wore bowties when we dressed up.

It all comes full circle. I am to the right and you can take a good gander at who is in the middle. This would have been taken in 1996 so I would be 11 and in the 5th/6th grade.

There's lots and lots more photos in that album (one of many) but I haven't the time to scan them. I must have really loved those socks.

Eclectic:

What a random night of things.

Halo, just to mash the brains a little.

ESTIEtotheD (5:48:11 PM): hey you sexy asian
ESTIEtotheD (5:48:21 PM): i'm over joel...wannamarry me?

The Family Stone - funny, but I really disliked a lot of the characters. A lot of whining. Definitely had its moments and points.

Jeff is a movie star. He's got a freak flag... and he's flying it.

In the quest to regain our masculinity (just kidding, but not really), we cooked meat and played more Halo. What a delicious steak! One of the best I've had recently. Are you jealous?

Next:

Just gotta keep truckin' through I guess. I really should be passed out now.

So during this season, there's a lot more talk about angels. They're all over the Christmas tunes and represented in every nativity scene. This past Sunday School we read a little CS Lewis where he paints a picture of what it might look like when we die. He sort of says that the first thing that will happen when we enter the spiritual realm is we will actually be able to see the spiritual realm. Like a clearing of the eyes, we will see the angels that have been around in our lives and also the demons that haunted us. It kind of makes me wonder what's happening around me (but on the other side) now. Maybe if I think about it more, I may be more aware of the real angels instead of buying into the commercialized image.

Random, I still haven't had a dream in a really long time.

Finals:

The beginning of the end. May I not in this time forget where I have come from.

I was looking through some old blog posts just now. I'm talking about Fall semester 2003, baby. I'm glad I have some accounts and reflections that show me how far I've come since then. It's a good thing to keep on file.

Do you remember... BBB? Who could forget? Me. I guess I've been busy and worried about some other things going on around these days, but that's no excuse. The truth remains, I am blessed beyond belief. There is so much I have and so many people/things I am thankful for right now. Not just thankful. Thankful to God, because I can specifically cite where things happen not because of my own volition.

Something else that has been resonating (I don't like using that word in this fashion because it doesn't fit perfectly with the physical concept) with me recently:
"Oh Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight"
When I've had the opportunity to be a little quiet with myself lately, I've gotten a little more excited about this journey, this adventure. I don't know why. I'll do this weird thing where I'll smile to myself. Huh?

Balling:

Don't hate us because we look good.

Where are the other pics of us?!?

Like families...

Organ:

Today I had the opportunity to do a little hiding out. Not only disappearing, but with an organ. Okay that doesn't make sense. Anyway, I love organ music. And it doesn't help that my church spoils me with having one of the best organists in the area. What an incredible instrument. It also helped that just last week they callibrated and tuned the pipes there. The sound was just beautiful... I haven't words to describe the experience fully.

I like the fact that the organist was practicing at the time. Maybe this is just in my own head because I do it myself, but when a musician performs they are concentrating on the sound and being sure not to make any mistakes. During practice, and particularly so in today's case, the musician listens to themselves and has no restriction on how they emotionally approach the notes in front of them. Eh, just my tiny rant. Summary- I feel lucky.

But yeah, kind of a lot of contrast today I guess. Funniest thing (by far) I heard today:
Farrell: Why don't you come over here, Bert. Look over there, Anna's doing a dance!

Boneless:

While I may not have a creative bone in my body, I sure can appreciate the talents of others.

More thoughts on Christmas time. You'll get that happiness and joyfulness. There's the thankfulness, time with family. Then there's that one feeling that comes with the season as well... peace. Sometimes it happens during the candlelight service or during some carol singing, but it's just that one moment where I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and bask in stillness. Yes, Jesus is the Prince of Peace and brings healing into anything we let him deal with. But it's more simple than that. It's like when the baby drifts off to sleep as you rock it gently, you look up at those around you and ever so quietly go, "shhhh"... and then you can't help but smile. Nothing else exists in that precious, fleeting moment. I'm looking forward to it. It may hit you too, whether you're expecting it or not.

Series:

And continuing on our 20 day series on the "Spirit of Christmas", today we'll be discussing...

Hah, yeah right. As if I could be consistant or coherent. But besides the crazy shopping and the great music, this season brings about the Christmas Ball. I'd say that the ball is my most favorite official IV event all year. So yeah, I'm pretty excited about the whole dressing up thing and the joy of just having nothing to do other than hang out. And something about this year... I don't know what it'll be, but I just have this feeling that something crazy/spectacular will happen. What an odd feeling. But hey, if something does happen you heard it from me first.

Placement:

He put you right there and it was beautiful.

Cut:

In Mandarin, it's pronounced 'zhu'. In Cantonese, it sounds a little bit more like 'chi'. Either way, it is a calligraphical representation of my last name character. For some reason the accent line reminds me of a messy slice wound. Hmm... that would make for an interesting tat.

Season:

With today's blustery weather, I figure it's time to whip out some Christmas Spirit. And by "Christmas Spirit" I mean some Christmas music. We're supposed to have the real Christmas Spirit year round, right? Anyway, I downloaded Sinatra's Christmas album and some of Charlotte Church's songs. Other suggestions, please?

Reflections for the night- how can I posture myself so that I have a more humble attitude? All is right in my world, but I'd rather stand tall instead of bowing down.

Glimpse:

Moon:

Well, I'd like to visit the moon
On a rocketship high in the air.
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon,
But I don't think I'd like to live there.
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above,
I'd miss all the places
and people I love,
So although I might like it for one afternoon,
I don't want to live on the moon.

I'd like to travel under the sea.
I could meet all the fish everywhere.
Yes, I'd travel under the sea,
But I don't think I'd like to live there.
I might stay for a day there
If i had my wish,
But there's not much to do
When your friends are all fish,
And an oyster and clam aren't real family,
So I don't want to live under the sea.

I'd like to visit the jungle,
Hear the lion's roar;
Go back and meet a dinosaur.
There's so many strange places I'd like to be
But none of them permanently.

So if I should visit the moon,
Well, I'll dance on a moonbeam, and then
I will make a wish on a star,
And I'll wish I was home once again.
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above,
I would miss all the places
And people I love
So although I may go,
I'll be coming home soon,
'Cause I don't want to live on the moon.
No, I don't want to live on the moon.

I couldn't find the real version, but I found something just as good. So I'm listening to this jazzy rendition right now and sipping hot apple cider. Yeah, nights like these just make me think of these lyrics.

Dream:

I haven't had a dream in a long while. Nor have I drawn anything. Maybe I haven't been very inspired lately. Here's to hoping that'll change soon.

Crud:

I hope my thumb isn't broken.

Eye:

I'm in the eye of the storm right now. This is Black Friday, folks... a day where the weak of heart should hide their wallets.

This is the first year I've seen any store run a 24 hour long sale for Black Friday. The store, as it turns out, is CompUSA... which in previous years has been a store of few sales and a lots of fine print. So they decided to try opening the store at midnight, Friday morning and put a few great deals in the circular. It's 10 PM and we drive by the CompUSA as we're returning from Thanksgiving dinner at my new-brother-in-law's home in Virginia. Meh, about 25 to 30 hardcore people out there waiting for the next two hours in 24 degree weather. Fastforward to 11 PM when we're back, all geared up in wintery clothes and with the circular in hand. We're only the HUNDREDTH people in line. Oh wait... by 11:45, there are about 300 plus people in the parking lot and still loads more coming. There is still hope, by the way, that I'll be able to snatch my external harddrive. I may not be the sturdiest pusher, but I can slide through a crowd like none other. Anyway, doors open and since this is the first time this store has had to deal with a crowd like this, well, they don't do a very good job. Can you imagine a 300 person line running into the entrance and trying to squeeze through a double sliding glass door? Stampede and trample. 300 people running through the store, knocking down everything. The store was a mess with boxes of you name it strewn on the floor. Think of the Capital One vikings pillaging an electronics store. That's CompUSA an hour later. So 2 hours in the check out line and a few good deals in hand, we finally make it out the door.

I've been in my fair share of human stampedes before, but this one was a quite a bit different. "Oh is this the hard drive I'm looking for? Nope. I'll just throw it on the ground" or maybe "Hey, I'll buy that off of you. C'mon" or better yet "Get out of my #!%#@ way, I need that harddrive... I need that hardriveeeeeee!!" There's just too much pushing, shoving, competition... hate for your fellow shopper.

So Alpha squad returned at 2 AM to rest and pick up Beta squad for round two. Up at a bright and early 3 AM. I choose to forego sleep, even though I probably need it for the real beast- Best Buy. Such an outting gives me the shivers. If I don't make it back alive, you can find my will underneath the suitcase under my bed. The edited version (with projected Black Friday grabs) can be found on flash memory drive on my shelf. I'ma chase me some more hurricane.

Edit/Update: Round 2 was very successful. We obtained all primary and all secondary objectives. We were missing only a single terciary item. We were out of Best Buy by 5:35 AM, scouted Staples for a few minutes and then conquered Target before 6:30. You definitely don't go into a Black Friday morning expecting to get everything you circle on the ads.

Pursued:

Do you know what it's like to be genuinely pursued? Regardless of where you go, they are willing to follow... willing to sacrifice their life for you. To be cared about like that? I would be humbled by that. Thank you Jesus.

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
-Psalm 8

Reflections:

1. Sometimes we lose. Grades, money, relationships, time, viruses, arguments, wishbones. Life can bring you down... but only if you let it. Maybe you're actually wishing for the same thing and everyone's winning. There is always hope, there is hope in everything.

2. Wouldn't forcefields be the coolest things? That's what I think of when the word 'shield' comes to mind (note: sad, if you get the reference, but true). There are a lot of shields I and we (as people) put up. Humor, busyness, academics, shallowness, silence, stealth, or just plain ole pushing people away. There are so many ways to hide my true self. I want to learn what it means to drop my shields. I think it'll hurt, but it's part of my adventure... essential to my 'trek' if you will.

3. There is none like You. No one else can touch my heart like You do. I could search for all eternity long, and find there is none like You.

4. No connection, just something I did a while ago:

Slow:

I was trying to figure out why I was so tired after church. It took me a while, but I finally realized what it was. My church had a Thanksgiving lunch and I had consumed a ridonkulous amount of turkey. Mmmm... tryptophan. So now I have an excuse as to why I was such a lazy bum this afternoon.

On Saturday, after the walkathon, FA and I went to the National Museum of American Indian and then to the US Botanical Garden Conservatory. We saw the titan arum (pictured, but it's not as big as that one), not yet bloomed... but it was supposed to soon and it did the night after. Kind of cool, knowing that it takes 14 years for the flower to grow before it blooms. The NMAI was very cool. I love the design and atmosphere of the museum because it's so fluid and curvy. One quote that particularly caught my interest was, "I did not practice my culture, I lived it." I like that.

Saturday night I went to my church's 70th anniversary banquet dinner. The food was so good and I got so stuffed. Let me enlighten you about the wonderfulness of China Garden's typical banquet menu:
First, there's the cold cut platter with jelly fish. Everything sort of looks gross, but it's all so delicious. The dried meats provide a perfect balance to the slightly pickled jelly fish (which resemble cooked rubberbands). Next comes the second appetizer, fried shrimp balls. These might be my favorite part... it's really just that- fried shrimp chunks... but the simple taste is just incredible. The third dish is a soup. We had an egg drop crab soup. It's not my most favorite, but it has a clean taste and perfectly sets you up for the real meal. Fourth came the roasted chicken, which is very tender and juicy. But really it's chicken and it's a filler dish so you only want to take one good (and by good I mean fewer bones) piece and save room for the rest. After the chicken comes the deep fried shrimp. These shrimp are usually jumbo huge. Like 4 or more inches in length. It's pretty salty and a little spicy so be prepared for a little kick. You eat everything because it's all fried, but it's not considered wasteful if you don't want to eat the head because that can be pretty rough on the mouth. Dish number six is the vegetable. I usually don't eat this because it has mushrooms and a mushroom sauce. Fungi are gross. Seven is the fried rice. I can tell you, CG has some of the best fried rice ever... and I've had a lot of different fried rices. Again, this is a dish that fills you up quick and they hit you with it relatively late so be careful about portion sizes. Eight is the roasted duck. This is the best duck meat next to straight up Peking duck. In my opinion, it's one of the best meats that Chinese restaraunts serve. Take my word, eat this dish with vigor and be sure to claim as many good pieces as you can without being dishonorable. The last savory dish is fish. We had a fish and vegetable stir fry which was pretty good since the meat was tender, but it lacked a true fishy flavor. I enjoy CG's cod... which they serve over one of those warming platters with the fire underneath and everything. Closing out with dessert, we get a pastry and in our case we got a puff pastry filled with lotus paste. It kind of tasted like a moon cake, but much more crispy and sweet. Following that, the last dish was, and usually is, a dessert soup. It was red bean soup, which is rather sweet and has a unique aftertaste that you don't experience elsewhere. I had three bowls since some of the people at my table were weak. If you've made it this far, then you've probably wasted a lot of time learning about Chinese-American banquet food. Most big celebrations, such as weddings or anniversaries, are held at similar type restaraunts and will serve similar foods so it's possible that this information might be useful. Quality-wise, you won't find much better than China Garden. Okay, that's enough of that rant... stop wasting your time and get on with your life.

Oh yeah, my mom bought fortune cookies. Six boxes and I think each has 300 cookies in them. Remind me to bring some back.

Speechless:

I have no adequate words for tonight. Just unintelligble sounds and a longing for so much more.

Retina:

For some time now, I've wanted to be able to communicate through looks. There's already a lot that goes on... length of glance/stare, slight movements, position, etc... but I want so much more. I want to be able to look into someone's eyes and see, "I need you to grab me that sock over there" and not just see attention levels or reactions. Perhaps I am exaggerating. I do long for the day when someone knows me so well that they can see the condition of my soul through my eyes... that they could see through my pretenses and shielding and understand who I am. I'm reminded of a sketch I did on retreat. Too bad it's on paper, it's one of my favorites.

Also, everyone needs to be jealous of me because of the awesome friends that I have.

Excited:

Got the turkey tonight. Isn't that exciting? I am also pretty psyched about a few long term projects/goals... we'll have to see how those play out.

Musing:

Definitely stuck in a contemplative, meditative frame of mind. While absolutely unproductive, I absolutely love it. I love hearing. I love listening.

Schmuck:

Time always seems to be running out. Just thinking about where I want to go with my life makes me wonder how at all I am going to accomplish all of this before I get too old to walk. Graduate, get married, find a job, raise a family... you know, all that good stuff. IDK. I usually try to stay focused on the present, but I fell into a small lapse today. I guess there's no point in me worrying at the moment, right? But if I can't pick up a chick by dragging a kid around all weekend, I obviously have no hope! :)

Clue:

I am by far one of the least dramatic persons ever. Also, I am probably the worst lier/story teller that you'll ever know. But maybe with a little practice and a little experience, I could really get into these sort of things. Jeff described the event as 'basically real life Clue'. Seems to be close enough. Next time I hope I get to be the killer! Being a criminal is so much fun!

*ahem*
steadfast- adj.
1. Fixed or unchanging; steady
2. Firmly loyal or constant; unswerving

Another quality I really admire. Goes right up under having compassion and fortitude.

Again:

The day 24 ruined my life, part 2. I need to go to bed. *sigh*

Confide:
To give as a responsibility or put into another's care; entrust.

Though that definition may be obvious, I like it a lot. To trust.. oh how essential is that aspect of life. Without it, what would that be like? Not like, 'I can't trust anyone, don't get anywhere near me' paranoid, but maybe a sitch that is much more probable in the society we live in. Maybe someone who doesn't trust others with their emotions or with their secrets. Someone who has no one to talk to. That's a lot more realistic. After all, who wants to give others that kind of power over them?

I would be lying if I were to say that I can fully confide in others. I want... I need to learn how to surrender that power. Granted, there's a time and place for things unsaid, but running paranoidally won't get me/you/anyone anywhere. Believe me, I've watched enough 24 to know that people who can't trust each other end up shooting a lot of people.

"How is your heart?" She asks
"Well." He says plainly
"Really?" She quietly questions
"No." He says reluctantly
"Then what?" She inquires patiently
"Tired." He says with a sigh
"From what?" As her heart breaks
"Running."
-A wise, undisclosed person

Dullless:

Seriously, never a dull moment around here. This is definitely my huh of the week, but please don't go around talking about this because it may be embarassing for some. I walk into my house after returning from a showing of Crash, and I find Jason lying in the kitchen doorway and Andy crouched over his head. Andy looks at me and shows me the paper towel that he's holding against the top of Jason's skull. Hmm, that's quite a bit of blood. Jen just came by and took Jason to the hospital to get everything sewn up. Rest assured, the reason for this injury is indeed stupidity. What would you expect?

I had a bit to say at the Crash showing, but I don't think that the discussion that I had in mind would have fit well there. I think a major point people were missing, in regards to the character Ryan Phillipe played, was that he is a 'racist'. Maybe more so than a lot of the other characters in the movie. I think he characterizes most of our culture in how he handles culture. With a nice long, pointy stick that has a piece of cheese impaled on it. He's charitable to people of other cultures, but does it out of guilt. He thinks he's doing good, convinces himself that he is doing so... but as the film shows, he's actually the one who causes the most hurt and damage. The 'racism' that he carries is a lot more subtle and clearly is just as dangerous. Funny thing is, I and a lot of other people do relate to his character best. Not ignorant or blind, but in a position where we continually need to embrace other people for who they are.

Why do all the best huh's of the week come right after small group?

Twentyfour:

The show is ruining my life. I spent probably the majority of my day watching 24 episodes becauces they're just so good and addicting. Seriously, like 7 hours. I feel like they're so well done that anyone, including non-Marlbrough or non-male persons, would easily get hooked so don't you judge. Oh well, I think today I can afford a little slack, but I may be paying for it a little bit later. Random note: I believe tomorrow to be full of complications and parts of it non enjoyable because it might not be potentially all that I feel it could be. Thank you captain vague.

Here's a new game:

What do you see? Can you make up a fun story about the abstract shape? I see a cowboy riding a giant worm. It escaped from an animal mutation lab and the only person who can stop it is the best rodeo cowboy in the world, Chad.


Here's a real drawing, if you consider it real. I used a thick shading pencil on purpose so I could be messy and unrealistic.

Bloodshot:

So I just spent the past 10 hours working on that take home exam. Oh, not to mention the 6 hours of class this morning. And it's 3:30 right now. I think tomorrow might be a day in which I try to recooperate a little. Maybe just lay out on the Mall or find a nice cubby to enjoy the day in. Find me or let me know if you're up for relaxing... company would be good. Life is meant to be shared.

Oldness:

Nothing new:
-No depth
-I like comments
-I like climbing
-Änna cracks me up

Family:

I'm almost certain I went straight to stick figures.