Zoom:

Lately I feel like my brains have been turned to mush. There aren't a ton of reasons for which I should be unable to meditate deeply or focus my thinking. Anyway, I've been challenged to stop dwelling in a world of theoreticals and instead try to refocus on the big picture. That's a completely loaded challenge, but I think it can be handled step by step. The first thing I will try to do is become a more rigorous observer. Though I can pick up on a decent set of things as is, I want to make more of an effort to take observations at face value and not make over assumptions in my head. I suppose that could be restated as me wanting to be more trusting of people. You said it, I believe it and will take it to heart. One step at a time...

Chill:

Crazy parties and late night outings are great, but nothing beats a chill night like this. The bars can be fun, but I wouldn't trade the face fatigue from all the laughing for anything. Oh and crepes make me a bit nostalgic.



Update: These are the days that I wouldn't trade for anything.

Sands:

Do you ever get the feeling that time is just slipping away?

Drinking:

This is rather lame and embarassing, but I figure it is worth documenting.

Tonight I probably had the most to drink while out on the town. A grand total of three beverages... maybe. I had two beers and a shooter which I'm not sure really had alcohol in it since I didn't taste anything and it didn't burn. Anyway, the exact amount of alcohol I consumed is irrelevant. In order to evaluate how intoxicated I was, I tried to think up of a way to mentally check my awareness levels and thought control. So, yes, I started doing simple math problems in my head. And I found out that I was still rather proficient, able to do a few three digit multiplications before I got bored and lost focus. I still have no idea what my limits are, except for the fact that three drinks only make me tired. That's all of the observations I was able to extract from this trial; additional experiments will be approached with added caution.

Finale:

Things I am looking forward to this last semester:

1. Slightly lighter school load = more free time
2. Volleyball!!! Even though I suck royally it should still be fun
3. Warming weather? Hopefully climbing season will kick back into full swing
4. Living in the house and riding with my boyz
5. Small group
6. Easter - it's a cool season
7. Chapter camp... always love it
8. Party - I would love to just host a random party
9. A camping trip would be really sweet... hopefully putting one together
10. Hanging out, obviously

Extraction:

No hitches yet. I switched from a general anesthesia procedure to a local anesthetic one. The surgeon shot me up good with novacaine and proceeded to do his work while I watched. I couldn't see much, thankfully, but I had a general idea of what was going on. Anyway, I couldn't feel my mouth until maybe 7 or 8 hours after the procedure which is a good thing. I've started my antibiotic and vicatin rotation, though I did extend this last vicatin break to see the effects. It has not been particularly pleasant and the last dose has taken a good half hour to kick in. Thus far I've been sticking to the applesauce. It goes down pretty easy, but I've gotta say that even three or four bowls isn't very satisfying. At the top of my priority list tomorrow- concocting a delicious soup.

I am supremely bored. Prescribed inactivity here is almost claustrophobic.

Wisdom:

Tomorrow I go under the knife for the second time in my life. At least, I think I will if that's what the procedure involves... I'm not wholly familiar. Anyway, I plan to be out of commission for a few days - staying in and probably sitting with my computer a lot... eating jello and applesauce. I'm not sure what kind of painkillers they're going to give me, though I've heard that they do give vicatin so I am thoroughly looking forward to seeing what that might feel like. I do hope I am aware enough from 8 pm to 10 pm tomorrow to watch the continuation of 24. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It makes him angry.

Sci-Fi:

I've been fairly unproductive today. No... I've been very unproductive, actually. I read the book "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card and also proceeded to watch a couple of the Star Wars movies. I sort of see the whole sequence as a homage to my older nerdy ways. I had never gotten around to reading "Ender's Game" even though I had heard a lot about it while I was in middle school since my brother was reading it. Back in those days I was really into reading Sci-Fi. I read through just about every Star Wars book (the good ones, not the silly young jedi series) that was available at the library at that time. I've always loved Star Wars the originals. Few people probably remember when they digitally remastered the original three movies and rereleased them in theaters with extra scenes. I stood out in line to watch them at the Uptown theater. All three of them... and it was awesome. I've played a fair amount of the video games released (Jedi Knight 1, 2, and 3, Jedi Academy, Episode 1 on PS, Pod-racer, X-Wing Alliance, Battlegrounds, KOTOR I and II... that's 10!!!) and also have a collection of toys that are lying around here somewhere. So obviously, the movies have had a pretty large influence in my nerdish upbringing.

The detail provided about this imaginary universe allowed for the formation of building blocks, those of which could allow the universe to be expanded on. Okay, for example... Bacta is mentioned only once briefly in the second movie. This is the name of the substance Luke is submerged in seen in the second movie. Why give a name to it? Because it let's you know that it's not water, but rather a rare substance that speeds up the healing process. That's all implied in the movie. And from there, bacta is found in almost every Star Wars franchise product as the medical commodity of the universe. It's the details that let the universe come alive and let your imagination indulge in fantasy. Han mentions the Kessel Run in a brief quip in the first movie. It's used a couple of times in the books and in at least one of the space flight video games, you get to race through the route to see if you beat Han Solo's time.

On another note, I absolutely love the musical score. I've played parts of it in an orchestra and I can confidently say that it is the best orchestral movie score ever written. Hands down. If you want to argue it, go somewhere else.

Thanks for letting me indulge in my nerdom.

Updates:

Just a few quick updates:

-I haven't been getting as much sleep as I'd like to
-Looks like I'll be getting my wisdom teeth removed sometime next week. I go in tomorrow to consult with the doctors.
-I wish I lived somewhere closer to Baltimore right now
-I realize that I need people who need me
-Hey, let's go and eat while I still can

Parties:

Okay, I'll admit it... I could use Sunday to recouperate. But hey, let's get the party back on by Monday.

Moses:

Did you know that Val Kilmer was the voice of Moses in The Prince of Egypt... and Michelle Pfeiffer was the voice of his wife? I didn't discover this until watching the end credits of the movie.

Urbana:

Made it home safely, had some fun, learned a few things.

ps. LISTEN to this guy.

Christmas:

This'll probably be my last post from Maryland in 2006, so I'd better make it a good one. Umm, it's past my bed time so it'll also be a quick one.

I'll definitely still be connected in Houston since all of my cousins are techies.

Anyway, merry Christmas. Thank you so much for the gift you gave to me. Don't you know? Your friendship and the relationship I have with you is something that I value over any type of possession. I hope my end of the deal is also worthwhile to you.

More scattered thoughts... Some things make me happy. Snowflakes, chilling, cooking, climbing, ridiculous movies, etc. They make me really happy... but in the grand scheme of things they don't bring me joy. I was thinking of the lines 'Joyful, joyful we adore thee' and 'giver of eternal gladness' today and was hit by the fact that in order to mean those words I must acknowledge the joy that Jesus gives to me. A lot of times I don't, and I try to fill that void with happy things. I wish I didn't. So during this Christmas season I'm going to try and focus in on that.

You know, all of the pretty decorations we put up and the beautiful songs that are sung in church... I think a lot of people do it for their own enjoyment. I sometimes see that attitude as wasteful. But anyway, I am learning to see things differently- where all the majesticness of the Christmas season is to reflect the majesty of God. Yes, Jesus was born in a dirty and lowly place... but what he was to do and what he is doing is majestic worthy of our decorating/vocal/artistic talents.

When I think of majesty (please pardon me for this reference) I think of the end of the third Lord of the Rings movie with the great ceremony and an entire city bowing down to a few short hobbits. Okay, I don't know where I was going with this... so that means it's time to go to bed. Goodnight.

Surrender:

I want to surrender all.

I'm not even at the point where I yearn for Him. My desire to follow and worship are lacking. I am only at the point where I want to yearn.

Self:

bleeeeeh... Mind vomit:

I feel inadequate. On one hand, I wish they would value me on a much more intimate level. On the other, I wish I weren't so gosh darn selfish about getting attention. I'm stuck because I desire vanity- I am only self assured through others. Saying that makes me feel gross and dirty, but that's what I am and admitting it is the first step to change.

Sorry about the lack of specifics. You know what I mean.

Beau:

Pictured: Beau, October of 2004.

I first met this fine young fellow outside of the North Campus Diner on September 15th, 2003 at around 5:50 PM I think. I'm not sure who started the conversation, but we were both early to the first small group and were looking for the leaders to show.

This picture is of Beau on our small group camping trip. He was kind enough to follow me from our freshman SG into our sophomore SG.


I guess he is one of the first persons I met here at college and someone who has always been around for me. I would consider Beau to be one of my most loyal friends, and for this I am thankful.









So as the end of this semester marks the end of an era, may a new one begin. Long live the adventures of the two people whose names always get mixed up even though they sound nothing alike.

Finals:

Well it's that time of year again. We're all pulling our hair out and trying to remain as disciplined as possible. With finals starting in about 7 hours, I'm a little unsure about how I feel about the next week. Honestly there is not a ton of studying that I need to do and I'm not very worried about my classes. Also, I have the first final slot and one in the almost last slot. So when looking at the density of stress/studying over the whole time period, it's actually very low.

But still, based solely on principle, I am forcing myself to not have any fun... which doesn't make any sense. I should be working hard and playing hard, not working hard and staring off into oblivion the rest of the time. So with that in mind, please call me up to do something fun and random.

Let's see other scattered thoughts:
- I want to try more ethnic foods
- Being around couples drains me
- I need to be around people, though
- I smell bad
- I over analyze things way too much
- It's about time I start getting my priorities in order
- Traveling over break will be really fun but sort of hard to deal with emotionally

Yikes:

I just realized that that was my last IV Christmas Ball. It was a great one for sure, but I'll miss them dearly.

Break:

You only live once and you only go to college once (hopefully). That's why I'm still up. I'm currently amidst a small break in between exams and I'm allowed to blow off some steam without worrying about school. So forget sleep; let's go do something ridiculous.

Christmas:

I'm ready for Christmas to come.